⚡ hadriel - ic inbox

[evocation]

This is Kyna. You should just text me if you actually want me to answer.

Comments

[ghostlocked]

i wish i didnt feel like i am.

[Then, after a minute or so:]

its something ill talk to him abt eventually. maybe tmrw. well see how it goes.
thats the only real option atm anyway.

[evocation]

you said you want to get comfortable with people touching you anyway, right?
maybe he can help.

[ghostlocked]

yeah i know.
its not impossible. i can work up to shit. i managed to have a sort of normal relationship w. james.
i was getting there w. panna. maybe anyway.
and i want to touch him. thats a start.
but its not easy and itll take time. and progress isnt like. idk.
linear.
thats the most frustrating part.
maybe ill be able to hold his hand one day but the next im off limits completely. i cant even predict that shit.
even if hes the most patient person in the world thats gonna get annoying. at least sometimes. its asking a lot of him.

[evocation]

everyone has something that's annoying.
i hope it works. you deserve it.

[ghostlocked]

uh. ig.
i mean my something is pretty big league compared to shit like hey you snore.

[evocation]

yeah, sure.
but so is michael's. i mean, no offense.

[ghostlocked]

its also something we have in common.
not wanting to be touched is my plus one.
and touching is a pretty fucking integral part of dating ime.

[evocation]

you don't have a ghost thing attached to you.
i'm just saying, i bet he knows what it feels like to
you know, think someone isn't going to be able to accept you or whatever.

[ghostlocked]

yeah ig.
look i know all that is true but this still feels diff.
like maybe he can accept that i dont do great w. physical contact but that doesnt mean hell want it any less.
hed be compromising. thats a shitty way to kick off a relationship.
i appreciate what ur trying to do but ur not gonna be able to talk me out of this. its not that easy.