I was so pissed off about losing my magic that I did nothing but practice for a couple weeks until I had the basics down again.
[He realizes he's probably an exception in one way or another, though.]
But that's what worked for me. It might not be the best option for you. We've got nothing but time here, though.
[On both a longterm scale and a shortterm one. It's not like he has to be anywhere else today.]
The best way to learn this spell is to just keep talking. Don't say shit back to me right away. You've got that little window to reply, so widen that gap a little more each time until you're able to initiate it without piggybacking off of me.
[Kyna doesn't answer, just nods instead, and then waits for the window to close. When she thinks it has, she tries to focus on the feel of it—no matter what school of magic she's using, every spell has the same sensation to her, at least at the start. It's easiest for her to start there when learning new spells, so it shouldn't be different even if she can't cast everything else, right?
So she just sits there, quiet and still, face screwed up in concentration. Unfortunately for both of them, Harlan isn't going to get anything from her at all, and after a minute or so she just sighs, frustrated.]
[Harlan patiently waits for her response, but it doesn't come, and apparently she's trying to just cast the spell on her own. He lets out a breath.]
Don't get ahead of yourself. The idea is to respond so you're still technically using my spell, but if you let the magic wear off a little before you do, it'll force you to dump some energy into it too. It's like training wheels. Count to ten and then hit me back.
[Round two. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, trying to push through the anxiety and frustration and just focus. If she concentrates, she can feel the energy he put into the spell, and sense it slowly fading. So, this time, she just tries to sink her own magic into it. Maybe it'll work. Just piggybacking is still something.
It doesn't, and after a bit Kyna opens her eyes and shakes her head. She's starting to look scared, but if Harlan is looking for it, he'll at least be able to sense the energy she added to his spell, though it's erratic and strangely disjointed.]
[Hm. Assuming she's following his instructions, he should be able to get at least a partial response from her. Is this worse than he thought it was? It's possible, since this is some fucked up resurrection mishap. That could mean anything.
He does feel her trying, if nothing else. There's a little prod in the back of his mind, like someone throwing pebbles at a window.]
Hey, it's okay. Remember this isn't even a spell you knew before your magic got fucked. It's gonna take a few tries.
[It feels like it's taken far more than a few times, but she appreciates that he's being supportive. It makes her feel a little more sane. She takes another deep breath.]
What did it feel like? When your magic got screwed up?
[He thinks for a moment. It's a difficult feeling to put into words.]
You know when your leg falls asleep and you go to move it but nothing happens? Then when you're able to feel it again, you get that intense tingling that isn't really pain but it sure as shit doesn't feel good? It felt like that, kind of, but not somewhere physical.
[It's not a perfect description, but it's the best he can think of.]
[That's a good comparison, she thinks, although it's not exactly what she's feeling. She can't really pause to think before answering, unless she wants to miss the window to, so her response is rushed.]
It's like... Like I don't have a leg at all. You know how people talk about not having magic in their world, or how they say that only certain people can learn it? I don't know. I think this is what that's probably like. I know the steps, but there's nothing there to use them with.
[That's... slightly more complicated. He's bad at hiding his feelings, so Kyna can probably read the concern in his expression and his voice. The situation isn't totally hopeless, though. And, as usual, he's not about to lie.]
That's scary, but at least we know what caused it. Me trying to teach you shit is just a temporary setup to hold you over until Hope gets his energy back. You're not going to have to relearn everything from scratch.
Why wouldn't he? He's the one that fucked you up in the first place. He owes you that much.
[He has a feeling it still won't be that cut and dry, but there's no point in hashing out hypothetical deals they'll have to make to get back her magic and his hearing.]
They should. We died defending them from the Null. If they attack again, and they will, it's not going to do them any good to have a bunch of pissed off and disabled citizens running around.
It felt really easy when I did it, but now that I know she fucked us over, it was weird. She told me to use my magic to protect everyone else here, and that was it.
Delight fucked us, sure, but it's not like she's pure evil. She's not any different than the other gods. If anything, by your logic, the other gods should be more sympathetic.
[Harlan shifts a little as she reaches for him, more out of awkwardness than discomfort. Usually, reaching for him like that means she wants to hold his hand, but then she just barely touches him and pulls away again. Man, physical intimacy is so confusing. What was that? Does it mean something? Was he supposed to do something back?
He spends another half a second puzzling over whether or not he's blowing it, but then decides: Fuck it.]
It sounds like this shit was in motion well before we got here. We're just caught in the crossfire.
[He nods, going quiet for a moment. The thought of getting home is complicated nowadays. Harlan definitely doesn't want to stay in Hadriel for the rest of his life, but there are people here that he doesn't want to think about leaving behind.
He'd like to leave, yes, but he wouldn't mind staying here a bit longer.]
I don't know either, but I'm not gonna throw my lot in with some fucking computer that thinks it's okay to call for kids to be executed.
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[He realizes he's probably an exception in one way or another, though.]
But that's what worked for me. It might not be the best option for you. We've got nothing but time here, though.
[On both a longterm scale and a shortterm one. It's not like he has to be anywhere else today.]
The best way to learn this spell is to just keep talking. Don't say shit back to me right away. You've got that little window to reply, so widen that gap a little more each time until you're able to initiate it without piggybacking off of me.
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So she just sits there, quiet and still, face screwed up in concentration. Unfortunately for both of them, Harlan isn't going to get anything from her at all, and after a minute or so she just sighs, frustrated.]
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Don't get ahead of yourself. The idea is to respond so you're still technically using my spell, but if you let the magic wear off a little before you do, it'll force you to dump some energy into it too. It's like training wheels. Count to ten and then hit me back.
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[Round two. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, trying to push through the anxiety and frustration and just focus. If she concentrates, she can feel the energy he put into the spell, and sense it slowly fading. So, this time, she just tries to sink her own magic into it. Maybe it'll work. Just piggybacking is still something.
It doesn't, and after a bit Kyna opens her eyes and shakes her head. She's starting to look scared, but if Harlan is looking for it, he'll at least be able to sense the energy she added to his spell, though it's erratic and strangely disjointed.]
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He does feel her trying, if nothing else. There's a little prod in the back of his mind, like someone throwing pebbles at a window.]
Hey, it's okay. Remember this isn't even a spell you knew before your magic got fucked. It's gonna take a few tries.
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What did it feel like? When your magic got screwed up?
[What if this is different?]
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You know when your leg falls asleep and you go to move it but nothing happens? Then when you're able to feel it again, you get that intense tingling that isn't really pain but it sure as shit doesn't feel good? It felt like that, kind of, but not somewhere physical.
[It's not a perfect description, but it's the best he can think of.]
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It's like... Like I don't have a leg at all. You know how people talk about not having magic in their world, or how they say that only certain people can learn it? I don't know. I think this is what that's probably like. I know the steps, but there's nothing there to use them with.
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[That's... slightly more complicated. He's bad at hiding his feelings, so Kyna can probably read the concern in his expression and his voice. The situation isn't totally hopeless, though. And, as usual, he's not about to lie.]
That's scary, but at least we know what caused it. Me trying to teach you shit is just a temporary setup to hold you over until Hope gets his energy back. You're not going to have to relearn everything from scratch.
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Do you think he'll just... fix me?
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[He has a feeling it still won't be that cut and dry, but there's no point in hashing out hypothetical deals they'll have to make to get back her magic and his hearing.]
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It felt really easy when I did it, but now that I know she fucked us over, it was weird. She told me to use my magic to protect everyone else here, and that was it.
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[He shrugs.]
This time shouldn't be any different.
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[But everyone said Delight was one of the nicest ones, so she's not sure what to expect from any of the others.]
I'm just afraid they're going to try to make me their fucking lackey or something.
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[He's not actually as optimistic as he sounds, but this much is true, at least. It's not like Kyna has to take the first offer they give her.]
If they really give you a hard time about it, let me know. I'll talk to 'em for you.
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Thanks, Harlan. I don't get how everything got so screwed up.
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He spends another half a second puzzling over whether or not he's blowing it, but then decides: Fuck it.]
It sounds like this shit was in motion well before we got here. We're just caught in the crossfire.
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Assholes. I can't believe we have to defend them.
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He'd like to leave, yes, but he wouldn't mind staying here a bit longer.]
I don't know either, but I'm not gonna throw my lot in with some fucking computer that thinks it's okay to call for kids to be executed.
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