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[evocation]

This is Kyna. You should just text me if you actually want me to answer.

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[evocation]

This doesn't unbreak my ribs.

[But she's not tossing it or shoving it back at him. In fact, she's just sort of watching him. It doesn't fix anything, but deep down she knows she didn't back down when she should have, too. She's self-aware about flaw of hers. Tucker and Harlan have rubbed her nose in it enough.]

[requiemshark]

No.

[Ephemera doesn't expect it to. He fucked up, hurt her. That's on him.]

I'll go.

[evocation]

I still think you're a dick.

[Nothing can be easy with Kyna, apparently.]

But this shit is fucking exhausting. I don't want it to be a thing.

[requiemshark]

[Ephemera supposes he deserves that.]

What do you want?

[evocation]

God, I don't know.

[She doesn't have experience with this kind of thing. When people hold grudges against her, it isn't this long standing, deep seated hatred, it's an "I'm going to kidnap your whole crew and probably try to kill you" thing. At least that's winnable. This just seems exhausting and endless.]

You seriously hate him, don't you?

[requiemshark]

He took my family from me.

[This time, Ephemera doesn't yell or curse. He sounds tired more than anything.]

Wouldn't you?

[evocation]

[If it were Tucker and Harlan, she would, absolutely. No question. But she doesn't want to consider that. She folds the paper closed again, shaking her head, but there's nothing she can say to that.]

[requiemshark]

[Ephemera just sighs.]

I miss them. More than anything.

[Sometimes it hurts so much he can't imagine feeling anything but the loss of them.]

But I can't get them back, no matter what I do to him.

[evocation]

It's not like he did that for fun.

[She really, really does not want to talk about this.]

[requiemshark]

He still did it.

[Ephemera smiles. Knows it's a bitter expression. He's tired and he hurts.]

I can't, okay? You're going to defend him and I'll--it'll go wrong.

[evocation]

[Kyna just stares at him for a moment, incredulous. This isn't what she was expecting. Wash said Ephemera meant his apology, and Drake said he was trying to change, and... She doesn't know how to handle this. Yelling at him is so much easier.]

Why do you care if it goes wrong?

[requiemshark]

You seem okay.

[Strange as it is to say that.]

And I don't want to be angry all the time.

[evocation]

I seem okay? Then why are you so into trying to piss me off?

[requiemshark]

[Ephemera just looks at her. Isn't it obvious?]

You defended him.

[evocation]

[She rolls her eyes.]

Are you serious?

[requiemshark]

[This time, Ephemera doesn't snap at her. He just shakes his head. This is pointless.]

I should go. I won't bother you again.

[evocation]

Jesus. Listen. How do I know you're not gonna try something again? Or get pissed off that I'm hanging around with Wash or something?

[requiemshark]

[Ephemera gives her a faint smile.]

It's simple. I fuck with you, he kills Drake.

[evocation]

[Kyna's mouth twists. She wants to tell him that Wash wouldn't, out of an instinctive attempt to defend him, but... Wash said he needs Ephemera to think he'd hurt Drake, so she doesn't.]

Drake said you're... trying to change or something. Not being a dick just because someone's threatening you isn't changing.

[requiemshark]

We don't always get what we want.

[And it's not like she'd believe him, anyway. Ephemera wouldn't, if their situations were reversed.]

I won't let him get hurt. You can believe that.

[evocation]

What do you mean, "we don't always get what we want"?

[requiemshark]

Crazy people don't change, right?

[He shrugs. The threat against Drake is real, whatever else she thinks of him. It should be enough.]

[evocation]

[Kyna crosses her arms.]

Yeah, so why are you so crazy?

[It sounds a little bad-tempered, but it's also an honest question.]

cw for suicidal ideation

[requiemshark]

I don't know.

[Probably because he's the last one standing. Ephemera watches her curiously. Then:]

Because I didn't die with them.

[evocation]

You wanted to die with them?

[She's actually trying to wrap her head around this.]