⚡ hadriel - ic inbox

[evocation]

This is Kyna. You should just text me if you actually want me to answer.

Comments

[ghostlocked]

lmao. ty k. i mean for her specifically.
she was uh pretty elfy. which theres nothing wrong w. but im talkin in terms of her regard for other races w. shorter lifespans.
see i dont think i do either? thats part of the problem.
and what she says isnt always what i think she means. like she said she cared abt the kids we saved but then shipped them off to some bs gnome treehouse town. did jt tell u abt that?
wtf sense does that make?
yeah i want kids. or a kid. idk.
idk if it will ever happen bc im edging in on forty and idt i should procreate but fuck id love to be a dad.
if it doesnt happen bc shit doesnt work out or w.e then it doesnt happen but i wouldnt want to close that door forever just bc the person im w. is tepid on the prospect ykno?

[evocation]

wait, what gnome town? why the fuck would she do that?
and you know you could just adopt a kid, right?

[ghostlocked]

i kno thats technically an option but cmon.
theres no way id ever get approved. not w. my psych record. not when im working for some bs guild where the works unsteady and means i could be gone for days at a time.
i shouldnt raise a kid by myself anyway. idk that i should even w. someone else. im prob being selfish but at least w. someone else they could maybe balance me out.
thats a lot to ask of someone tho.
fuck it. it doesnt matter rn anyway. thats not a thing here. plus i have hayden.
o uh yeah apparently panna made some deal w. bell and poppips village and theyre gonna collectively take the kids in as a town.
and the town is in the middle of some magical forest and is totally cut off from the rest of the world.

[evocation]

what the fuck? did the kids want that?
what about illyana and hadrian and julie? they're not fucking gnomes.

[ghostlocked]

idk. jt said they were fine w. it but ime kids arent the best decision makers following traumatic shit like idk being kidnapped and tortured and almost used as sacrifices.
when cps picked me up i didnt give a shit where they put me. shit was a whirlwind. even after id gotten used to the system its not like kids are really able to voice what they actually want.
i couldve told u what i didnt want. or lame shit that i wanted that isnt a good thing to base major life decisions on.
like i wanted a fam that wouldnt make me eat corn. or one w. a house in the woods so i could trap and kill shit.
but if i had it my way i wouldve been an emancipated minor at nine and id live at nasa which i wouldve had moved to upstate new york bc florida is the pits.
point is kids cant make those kind of decisions. great that they like it but of fucking course they like it. theyre not abt to be slaughtered. the gnomes will probably feed them and give them a place to sleep that isnt some fucking straw on the floor like a goddamn animal.

[Stop riling him up, Kyna!!]

[evocation]

[Wow. That... is a lot to absorb. It takes her a moment to respond.]

you don't have to answer this if you don't want to.
like if i'm being an asshole or whatever.
when they took you away from your mom, were things still bad?
you don't have to get detailed or anything, i just mean
if we go home and we don't let panna send them to that village, would letting them go to a foster home be worse?

[ghostlocked]

its impossible to say. everyones exp is diff.
even within the same house sometimes? i was a problem child so sometimes id be in a fam w. other foster kids and everyone would be happy except me.
i got black sheeped a lot but i also made that bed for myself. like fuckin the system shouldve been more equipped to deal w. that but i fucked shit up on purpose sometimes.
idk. its a feedback loop.
to answer ur q it was bad sometimes yeah. idt it was ever really good? if it was good i wouldve gotten adopted but i didnt so there u go.
but it was a fuck of a lot better than bein w. my mom. if id have stayed w. her id either be dead or in prison by now.
for the kids i think it would depend. hadrian would maybe be ok? hed age out in a year or two. u can put up w. anything for a year or two.
hes a halforc so thatd be trouble sorry to say but theyd look for a special needs home for him. for all the kids prob since theyre older and were abused.
illyana would be fine. shed get adopted like asap.
julies the one id worry abt.

[evocation]

shit harlan. that fucking sucks.
i'm sorry.
someone should have given you a fucking chance anyway.
why are you worried about julie?

[ghostlocked]

dw abt it. it was a long time ago.
and like i said i was a nightmare as a kid. plenty of fams were nice enough and did give me a chance but they werent equipped to deal w. the shit i threw at them.
taking me in permanently wouldve been a big fuckin ask.
julie reminds me of me a lil bit. and tucker. neither of us got adopted.
and shes what eleven? twelve? shes got some time yet and shes getting into the toughest years.

[evocation]

idk why people would sign up to take kids in if they aren't ready to deal with stuff like that.
assholes.
it sounds more like panna is just trying to get a problem out of the way or something.

[ghostlocked]

a lot of them thought they were ready im sure. id get that spiel abt how theyd love to keep me but i need more care than they can give so its for the best or w.e.
the constant shuffling blew but what was the alt? i prob wouldve ended up in an institution if fams hadnt been willing to take me in shortterm.
idk i turned out ok all things considered. its fine.
but uh yeah. to me it sounds like p thinks this is legit in the kids best interest bc hey a safe haven w.
a lot of good influences who will love them. whats not to like?
but kids need more than that. sheltering them from the world is gonna do them more harm than good.
thats what im talkin abt. idt she can really see beyond that kind of shit. it looks like a good idea so y not?
it bothers me.

[evocation]

it bothers me too.
and she never tells us everything.
idk if that's because she doesn't know certain shit or she just doesn't think we need to know.
but she should care more when we're almost dying.
and i don't get how she thinks a bunch of kids are going to be happy living there for
what? the rest of their lives?
wtf are they going to do if they decide to leave?

[ghostlocked]

yeah.
tbh k idk.
abt her or abt the kids.
we just need to get them out of there if we get back.
as for panna this is what i mean when i say idt we wouldve lasted longterm.
so shit that means im done w. kairos.
if its even still a thing. i wouldnt be surprised if it tanked. that market seems prone to turnover.

[evocation]

what do you mean?
you're quitting?

[ghostlocked]

well fuck panna mysteriously runs the place now.
i dont want to work w. my ex.

[evocation]

what are you going to do? join another guild?

[ghostlocked]

idk. maybe go back to my pi shit.
i like guildwork better but i dont want to start over w. some other shady org that is basically multilevel marketing but with life or death consequences.
we were just gaining some traction w. kairos.
or what barely passes for traction in this business anyway.
point is i could do better.
all of us could tbh.
do u want to stay w. kairos? its ok if u do btw.

[evocation]

idk.
i was kind of staying for you and tucker.
i mean i like doing what we do i just
it's shitty not knowing who we're doing it for or why.

[ghostlocked]

same.
we could launch a solo career. like corbets dad.
work for ourselves and shit. itd be a lot of extra work but imo itd be worth it.
prob more lucrative too.
or at least the ratio of lucrative to likelihood of getting us killed would make more fuckin sense.

[evocation]

how would we even do something like that?
god
i bet nico would be happier.

[ghostlocked]

the same way we do the jobs we get now. figure it out on the fuckin fly.
actually k i was sort of fucking around but i like this idea.
we have everything we need.
except a healer ig but same shit diff day on that one.

[evocation]

something tells me you're making this sound easier than it's going to be.
but fuck it.
let's do it.

[ghostlocked]

ok real talk its gonna be hard af.
but itll balance out. itll be a better gig than what we were doing.
and maybe kairos will nut the fuck up if its best team peaces out bc it sucks.
it wont change anything but im high on life rn so im gonna choose to dream big.
ofc this is assuming jt would be in.
which btw can we rq acknowledge how hilarious it is that me and u landed bfs meanwhile jts the hot charming one and his dry spell is goin strong.
how the fuck?

[evocation]

[She almost sends back a predictable "he's not my bf" text, but then decides not to bother. Her best friends are assholes and she can't fight it. Instead, she decides to get offended about something else.]

wtf i'm hot. and charming.
speak for yourself.

[ghostlocked]

so he is your bf?

[You have activated his trap card.]