evocation | ⚡ hadriel

Fuck you.

[She doesn't get--

Stop. Don't yell, don't act crazy. This was supposed to be nice. This was supposed to be a break from all the bullshit with the Null.

Ephemera tips his head back and counts to ten. Breathes.]

Yeah, I'm done.

[At least she's smart enough this time to know that escalating this to an actual fight would end with her ass kicked.]

Look, what they did was fucked, okay? But you came at me talking about how Wash killed Connie, and then I found out that wasn't true. And you acted like Wash was some bloodthirsty monster, and that's not true either, but you just... left out all the people you killed? I'm sick of you twisting shit, and I bet I'm not the only person you've pulled that with.

I'm not twisting anything! Freelancer killed Connie. They killed one of their own.

[He doesn't know who pulled the trigger. It doesn't matter. Washington didn't stop them. The Freelancers betrayed their own people and there's no getting around that.]

I never betrayed my family. Never.

Wash didn't kill her. Tex did. You told me he didn't care, but he does. He said he didn't even know what the fuck was going on with her. She never told him and she wouldn't let him help. And you acted like he killed South for no reason, but she tried to kill him first, and then you just leave out the bullshit you did? Sorry if I'm not buying the poor put out martyr act.

I don't care who did it! He didn't stop them.

[He's yelling again, not looking at Kyna. Staring hard at the burnt wreck of the table there, shaking. Trying not to imagine CT and the others looking back at him. They wouldn't have minded this place, no, they would have figured out how to make it work here. CT would have known how to explain this shit, how to spell it out so everyone understood. Kyna wouldn't have looked at CT like he was a fucking psychopath for putting those motherfuckers down like the monsters they were.

It hurts suddenly, a sharp pain in the base of his skull. It hurts and he misses CT so much. CT, Chica, all of them. Even Rodriguez, who was a bastard even before he started getting mean. He wants them back, wants them at his back, everything how it used to be. Except they're gone, they're dead, Freelancer did that.

Freelancer did that.]

You never betray your team. Never.

[His mouth tastes sour, like gunmetal. Ephemera swallows hard. Tries to be quieter, to talk like a fucking rational adult.]

Never. They're everything...

[She studies him for a second, frowning, arms still tightly crossed.]

Yeah, well, it sounds like Connie didn't even give Wash a chance to actually pick sides to me. So much for not betraying your team.

Doesn't matter. They should've backed her up. She was one of them.

[Never betray your team, never let command corner any of them. Cover for them, fight for them, kill for them if you have to. But never betray your team. Never leave anyone behind.

Ephemera shivers. He doesn't feel so good. This was a mistake, talking about this shit, thinking that Kyna would understand. She's not a soldier, she's not part of his squad. He misstepped. Can't do that, no sir, can't do that.]

Wait, what? They were just supposed to follow her even though they didn't know what was going on? Maybe Tex was an asshole, but Wash said he never would have hurt her.

I followed her!

[This time he twists, glaring at Kyna. She's not getting it.]

CT said we were gonna help her. You trust your team. You back...you back them. You back them.

[He doesn't feel well. Runs a hand through his hair, shakily.]

Always protect your team.

Did she care about what happened to any of them? It didn't even sound like they were close.

[Maybe this is some military thing she's not getting, but it doesn't make sense. If Tucker dipped out on her, yeah, sure, she'd follow him without question. If Morg did, she'd tell him to go fuck himself. She doesn't get this blanket blind loyalty.]

They were her squad! Her squad....

[They should have backed her no matter what. Ephemera shakes his head, pressing his gauntlet hard against his good eye. He wants to sit down suddenly. Which is stupid, it's fucked up, isn't right. None of this is going like he wanted it to. Connie should have lived, CT and the others should have made it out. Freelancer should have paid, should have burned like the officers--

The world goes fuzzy for a moment.

Ephemera blinks. He's on his knees. Shaking.

That happened. Okay.]

[Out of nowhere, Ephemera goes down, and before Kyna can think better of it Kyna is closing the gap between them and kneeling beside him, one hand going to his shoulder. God, he's shaking like crazy. She doesn't bother to hide the concern on her face.]

Hey. Are you okay?

[Things are fuzzy. Coming in and out of focus. Gunmetal in his mouth, sharp and sour. A roar in his ears. White noise.

Focus. Remember--

What?

Ephemera tips his head back. Breathes.

It takes him a while to come back enough to realize there's someone next to him.]

....what?

[He blinks. Tries to focus.]

Are you okay?

[She's repeating herself, but she needs the answer.]

Do you want me to... call someone or something?

[Kyna. It's Kyna and they were fighting, she didn't understand. Ephemera felt stupidly upset by that, though he doesn't know why. It's not like she was there. She doesn't owe him anything, least of all understanding.

Ephemera presses a hand against his good eye, shaking his head.]

Fine. I'm fine. Just lost a minute.

[It's nothing. Absolutely nothing.]

I'm not wrong, about them. I'm not.

You lost a minute?

[Kyna tries to reach for his hand, slowly and gently, an attempt to get his full attention. He's not exactly assuaging her concerns here.]

Should I call Drake?

No!

[Ephemera twitches away from her. It's fine, they can go back to arguing now. Drake definitely doesn't need to know about this. He isn't going to puke, everything is fine. Suck it up, soldier.]

I'm fine. We're fighting, it's good. Let's fight.

Dude, no? You looked like you were gonna pass out. You should at least go to the clinic or something.

It's fine, [he mutters, dropping his hand. It's fine, everything is fine, that didn't just happen.] I'm fine, it doesn't matter. We're fighting.

[They're fighting. His brain fucked up because....because who knows why, but he doesn't get to freak out and lose his shit just because they're arguing.]

Yeah, okay, we're fighting. Stop being an idiot and let me take you to the clinic.

Don't need it.

[Ephemera spits on the ground. Sways. He can definitely stand. Yep. He just has to focus for a moment.]

Just lost a minute. I'm good.

[Totally. Look, he can even stand. Sort of. There's a lot of swaying.]

[Kyna sighs as she stands.]

You look like you're going to fall over, and I'm going to put an arm around you so you don't, and if you get all shitty and flinchy with me about it I'm going to hit you. Got it?

[Not that a hit from her would do anything, but hey. It's the thought that counts.]

[Don't puke. Breathe through your nose and stand up straight. Suck it up. Everything will be fine if you fight through it. Ephemera grits his teeth. Breathes.]

You're fucking tiny.

[It ought to be said. She is.]

[Kyna loops her arm around him, shooting him a look. She keeps her movements slow and careful, though—being friends with Harlan has given her experience with this sort of discomfort.]

I still kicked your ass twice.

[With magic, which she no longer has, but that's an unimportant detail.]

Let me call Drake.

Did not.

[He needs to get his helmet back. Can't leave your head uncovered out int he open like this. Snipers. Shrapnel. Anything could happen. Anything at all.

Focus. Stand up straight.

Fuck, he doesn't feel so good.

Ephemera twitches.]

I don't want him to worry.

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