[It's dry and flatly sarcastic, but very purposefully and deliberately rather than just a lack of energy. After she's grabbed the chips she wants he pulls the back back, selecting another one to slowly work on eating while he answers.]
As always, I can't say much, but it's going okay. People are, thankfully, doing better overall than I had been worried about, at least as far as I'm aware.
[He'd expected a lot more people to be traumatized by the whole Null thing, but it's a pleasant surprise to be wrong.]
That reminds me, though; I need to turn my spare room into an actual office.
[His immediate answer is 'no, of course not', but he doesn't bother trying to say it. Not only would she probably not believe him, but the whole point of talking is to talk, not go right back to pretending everything is fine.
So he's quiet a few seconds, then lets out a long sigh.]
I'm not sure.
[But, as truthful as that is, it's probably not a helpful answer.]
Listening to and trying to advise people regarding their problems, as much as I want to do so, is probably not the best for me at the moment. But it also gives me something else to focus on than... Everything else.
[So those balance out, in some ways.]
But counseling someone shouldn't, in any way, be something meant to benefit me; that's part of the reason why we're not supposed to talk to a patient about personal issues, because it changes the focus of things. And I'm probably not devoting the right amount of energy or attention to helping someone in general, but I also can't just turn someone away if they need help, because unlike at home there are no other options here. I can't just refer them to someone else.
[So he, honestly, isn't sure what to do. It's probably best for himself not to take patients at the moment, but he can't bring himself to refuse helping someone who might need it.]
Maybe, yeah. I guess I could take a short break from less pressing counseling sessions, but still be available to deal with emergencies if necessary.
[If he makes it really clear and gives people time to talk before he takes time off, then is still able to help people if it's very serious, maybe it'll all be okay. He won't be turning down anyone that really needs help, and those that meet with him for less serious issues will know what's going on and that it's a temporary delay. Really, it would be no different than if he was physically sick and couldn't see people, right?]
I do really want to learn more magic though, either way.
[That would definitely be a nice thing to focus on, and give him a good reason to actually get up instead of just sleep most of the day and stalking the network the rest of the time.]
[He's still a little unsure about things, but the idea is really appealing. He needs the break, and would've even without dealing with all the issues from home and from being here, so it might end up being the best plan; he nudges her knee in return as well, sinking down further into the couch.]
What, is learning cool shit not normally a part of a vacation?
[He's joking, but come on. Nerd vacations are where it's at.]
That um, kind of depends; Harlan was making it sound like it might be kind of draining?
[The actual words were 'you might feel like shit for a day or two' which is fine, whatever, but he's not sure if it's smart to add that on top of how terrible he already feels right now. Maybe he should take a little time to get some strength back first.
Or maybe Harlan's exaggerating and it's not that bad?]
Seriously, don't worry. It sucks for me and Harlan because we've got so much more magic to sink into the ritual or whatever, you know? And people don't usually just remake their focus all the time. It's easier to just transfer it to something new. We just have shitty luck.
[Lance could argue that he has incredibly shitty luck too, but he won't; his ultra terrible luck gets balanced out by really great luck most of the time anyway, so it only barely counts. Besides, he doesn't have any intention or desire to get his badge destroyed, so for now he'll just try and believe it'll be fine.]
I'll take your word for it. It doesn't need to be recreated as I get better at things, or anything like that?
[He manages a small smile at that, poking through his bag of chips for some sort of perfect chip.]
Okay, sure, kind of nervous. Though I guess that does make me feel better, until I manage to screw it up somehow and then know a nine year old can do better.
[But he's mostly joking; that does reassure him a lot, actually, he just has the terrible combo of both worrying a lot and being a perfectionist.]
[The truth is, Kyna had a massive leg up. Most nine year olds aren't making a focus, but her dad helped her. That's not really something she wants to get into, though.]
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Yeah, but then I don't get to throw shit at you. How's everything else going? Like, with your patients?
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[It's dry and flatly sarcastic, but very purposefully and deliberately rather than just a lack of energy. After she's grabbed the chips she wants he pulls the back back, selecting another one to slowly work on eating while he answers.]
As always, I can't say much, but it's going okay. People are, thankfully, doing better overall than I had been worried about, at least as far as I'm aware.
[He'd expected a lot more people to be traumatized by the whole Null thing, but it's a pleasant surprise to be wrong.]
That reminds me, though; I need to turn my spare room into an actual office.
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[That wasn't quite why she was asking, though.]
You're not, uh... overworking yourself or anything, right?
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So he's quiet a few seconds, then lets out a long sigh.]
I'm not sure.
[But, as truthful as that is, it's probably not a helpful answer.]
Listening to and trying to advise people regarding their problems, as much as I want to do so, is probably not the best for me at the moment. But it also gives me something else to focus on than... Everything else.
[So those balance out, in some ways.]
But counseling someone shouldn't, in any way, be something meant to benefit me; that's part of the reason why we're not supposed to talk to a patient about personal issues, because it changes the focus of things. And I'm probably not devoting the right amount of energy or attention to helping someone in general, but I also can't just turn someone away if they need help, because unlike at home there are no other options here. I can't just refer them to someone else.
[So he, honestly, isn't sure what to do. It's probably best for himself not to take patients at the moment, but he can't bring himself to refuse helping someone who might need it.]
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[She tilts her head, considering. She understands why he doesn't want to stop helping patients, which makes this a little harder.]
Maybe you could just take a break? A short one. And you could focus on, like... learning magic or something else.
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Maybe, yeah. I guess I could take a short break from less pressing counseling sessions, but still be available to deal with emergencies if necessary.
[If he makes it really clear and gives people time to talk before he takes time off, then is still able to help people if it's very serious, maybe it'll all be okay. He won't be turning down anyone that really needs help, and those that meet with him for less serious issues will know what's going on and that it's a temporary delay. Really, it would be no different than if he was physically sick and couldn't see people, right?]
I do really want to learn more magic though, either way.
[That would definitely be a nice thing to focus on, and give him a good reason to actually get up instead of just sleep most of the day and stalking the network the rest of the time.]
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It'll be like a vacation, except you'll be learning cool shit.
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What, is learning cool shit not normally a part of a vacation?
[He's joking, but come on. Nerd vacations are where it's at.]
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[She's grinning, though.]
You're supposed to get drunk and stuff your face on a vacation. Duh.
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[He's an overachiever okay.]
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[Actually, she hasn't for a while, but whatever. She reaches over to steal another handful of his chips.]
When do you wanna make your focus, anyway?
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[He offers in response, making no protest to her stealing more chips. The answer to her question is more serious, however.]
I'm not totally sure, but I was thinking maybe my FBI badge.
[It seems fitting, in a way, and it's also just practical and easy to carry.]
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[Might as well, right?]
When do you want to do it?
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[The actual words were 'you might feel like shit for a day or two' which is fine, whatever, but he's not sure if it's smart to add that on top of how terrible he already feels right now. Maybe he should take a little time to get some strength back first.
Or maybe Harlan's exaggerating and it's not that bad?]
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Okay. I guess I'll just make sure to put my vacation in effect beforehand, just in case.
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I'll take your word for it. It doesn't need to be recreated as I get better at things, or anything like that?
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[He's just his usual neurotic self, or would be if he had the energy for it.]
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[She grins.]
It's okay. I made mine when I was like... nine.
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Okay, sure, kind of nervous. Though I guess that does make me feel better, until I manage to screw it up somehow and then know a nine year old can do better.
[But he's mostly joking; that does reassure him a lot, actually, he just has the terrible combo of both worrying a lot and being a perfectionist.]
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[The truth is, Kyna had a massive leg up. Most nine year olds aren't making a focus, but her dad helped her. That's not really something she wants to get into, though.]
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