[It hadn't been easy, losing everyone. Tucker wondered if it ever would be after the desert, after Church, after Church again, after Wash, after Church again (was there a pattern here? Maybe). But he wasn't the only one left behind and while misery loved company, he wasn't sure that this was what it meant. Or maybe it was what it meant, and holy shit, that statement was selfish as fuck.
Fuck. He felt bad for Kyna, because he knew how it was. He was living it right now.
Where was Epsilon? Dead? Was...was he back to being dead? Was this because they admitted how they finally felt about each other? Because if so, then...then he wished they hadn't and could have just kept things the same. A forever friendship. It had to be better than death.
He knocked on her door because he wasn't that much of an asshole; he just needed to know that she was still there, that he wasn't alone after all. Don't mind this, Kyna; this was going to be a pretty frequent occurrence from here on out.]
[Kyna knows exactly how Tucker is feeling, and as much as she likes him, as much as she's glad she found him, she's not exactly sure how to talk about any of it. It feels kind of stupid to talk to him about how much this sucks, because of course it does, and it feels even more stupid to admit how afraid she is, because what if this is just an event? What if she's freaked for no reason?
So, when Tucker knocks, she does her best to put on a brave face.]
[Brave faces were what they were both good at. Funny how that was the resort they both went to, that answer that wasn't an answer at all, because what else was there? Was there anything else they could do?
Other than yell at the gods loudly in good old Blue Haus. Which...well, Tucker had been doing that, too.
He came in when she said so, keeping the door open behind him. What did it matter when there were only about four people in the whole world?]
Just seeing if you [were still here] needed anything? Food or whatever.
[It was a joke. It was meant to be a joke, but fuck was it tasteless. He sat down beside her, looking at his hands, his brow furrowed a little. Armor had been traded for civvies, jeans and a t-shirt. Sometimes, he still wore it on a particularly bad day when they were alone, or when they were going around the others.
Fuck letting them see how much he missed his friends.]
[Oh, he was totally gross, but he also knew she could take it bcbw. Or, at least he hoped she could, because that was pretty par for the course with their group. Not...not that there was much of a group left.
The question caught him off guard, and he blinked for a second. Was he?
Nope. Nope, not at all. Not every time he walked to Church's room and remembered he wasn't here, went to find Carolina to ask her something and heard only the silence of the entire place echoing back at him, not when he needed to run laps with Wash and he was nowhere to be found. He had never felt more separated from his team. His friends.]
Yeah. I mean, we have to be, right?
[He smiled, but it felt too much like the desert for him. The echoing hallways that aliens had built.]
I'm still one for going and kicking some godass if we can find it, though.
[Kyna frowns a little at that. She's not sure if they have to be okay—she's certainly not. If everyone has gone home, Harlan and JT will certainly be okay, it's just... everyone else she's worried about. The people who knew they were going back to die, and Wash, but she can't let her think about Wash right now.
She hesitates, then leans her shoulder into his.]
If you can figure out a way to get to them, I'm all for it.
Your magic, my sword and badass skills, we're gonna be unstoppable.
[Gods. He was ready to fight gods, and it didn't matter. He was ready to let the bitterness get at him, letting it eat him, tear him apart. He would totally go do something stupid now, without hesitation, without Wash and Caboose and Epsilon to hold him back.
There were no limits. There were no roadblocks. There was only this feeling of fear hiding under sixteen layers of anger.]
Wash would think it's a stupid idea, which is why we need to do it even more.
[He didn't know those words, at least not mashed together like that. It was probably some magic shit, but the concept was vaguely beyond him, as were most spells she did. Shit, he still didn't know how she did any of it, where the powers came from.
But it also didn't matter, because in the end she did some bad ass shit without him having to know the hows and whys.]
Is it something that could help us find folks, because if so, what the fuck are we waiting for? Go nerd out at a bookstore or something.
Yeah. It lets you hop between planes. Worlds. Whatever. But I need something from the place I'm going to for it to work, and it seems like the spell doesn't work here anyway.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
During the deserting event
Fuck. He felt bad for Kyna, because he knew how it was. He was living it right now.
Where was Epsilon? Dead? Was...was he back to being dead? Was this because they admitted how they finally felt about each other? Because if so, then...then he wished they hadn't and could have just kept things the same. A forever friendship. It had to be better than death.
He knocked on her door because he wasn't that much of an asshole; he just needed to know that she was still there, that he wasn't alone after all. Don't mind this, Kyna; this was going to be a pretty frequent occurrence from here on out.]
Hey, you in?
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So, when Tucker knocks, she does her best to put on a brave face.]
Hey. Uh, come in.
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Other than yell at the gods loudly in good old Blue Haus. Which...well, Tucker had been doing that, too.
He came in when she said so, keeping the door open behind him. What did it matter when there were only about four people in the whole world?]
Just seeing if you [were still here] needed anything? Food or whatever.
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Do you wanna sit down?
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[It was a joke. It was meant to be a joke, but fuck was it tasteless. He sat down beside her, looking at his hands, his brow furrowed a little. Armor had been traded for civvies, jeans and a t-shirt. Sometimes, he still wore it on a particularly bad day when they were alone, or when they were going around the others.
Fuck letting them see how much he missed his friends.]
Too soon?
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You're gross.
[But luckily Kyna isn't easily offended.]
Are you okay?
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bcbw. Or, at least he hoped she could, because that was pretty par for the course with their group. Not...not that there was much of a group left.The question caught him off guard, and he blinked for a second. Was he?
Nope. Nope, not at all. Not every time he walked to Church's room and remembered he wasn't here, went to find Carolina to ask her something and heard only the silence of the entire place echoing back at him, not when he needed to run laps with Wash and he was nowhere to be found. He had never felt more separated from his team. His friends.]
Yeah. I mean, we have to be, right?
[He smiled, but it felt too much like the desert for him. The echoing hallways that aliens had built.]
I'm still one for going and kicking some godass if we can find it, though.
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She hesitates, then leans her shoulder into his.]
If you can figure out a way to get to them, I'm all for it.
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[Gods. He was ready to fight gods, and it didn't matter. He was ready to let the bitterness get at him, letting it eat him, tear him apart. He would totally go do something stupid now, without hesitation, without Wash and Caboose and Epsilon to hold him back.
There were no limits. There were no roadblocks. There was only this feeling of fear hiding under sixteen layers of anger.]
Wash would think it's a stupid idea, which is why we need to do it even more.
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Harlan and JT would think it's stupid, too.
[JT especially, she thinks.]
We don't even know where the gods are, though. God, if I just knew fucking plane shift...
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[He didn't know those words, at least not mashed together like that. It was probably some magic shit, but the concept was vaguely beyond him, as were most spells she did. Shit, he still didn't know how she did any of it, where the powers came from.
But it also didn't matter, because in the end she did some bad ass shit without him having to know the hows and whys.]
Is it something that could help us find folks, because if so, what the fuck are we waiting for? Go nerd out at a bookstore or something.
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[So that sucks. A lot. Kyna sighs.]
Sorry. I guess it's kind of worthless.