![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[ Nathan sighs. Loud, frustrated, and hands find his hips as he stares down at his feet. The tone and set of his body language changes by degrees, then all at once.
Truth is, the answer's easy. For him, anyway. 'Cause I fucking hate texting. 'Cause I wanted to talk to you in person. 'Cause I thought you could use a friend, 'cause I thought you were goddamn scared of me before this, 'cause I give a fucking shit about what you think. That's what you're supposed to do, when someone tells you they're not okay. You— make sure they are.
He feels like a damn idiot.
Grits his teeth. Stays silent.
Give him a fucking minute, would you? ]
Truth is, the answer's easy. For him, anyway. 'Cause I fucking hate texting. 'Cause I wanted to talk to you in person. 'Cause I thought you could use a friend, 'cause I thought you were goddamn scared of me before this, 'cause I give a fucking shit about what you think. That's what you're supposed to do, when someone tells you they're not okay. You— make sure they are.
He feels like a damn idiot.
Grits his teeth. Stays silent.
Give him a fucking minute, would you? ]
[ He hears the tone more than sees it. His head hurts. The easiest thing in the world would be to leave; the second would be to tell her it's not her fault, she hasn't done anything. Like that first time, when he'd said Kyna and left; the second time, when she'd hugged him, both of them still-bleeding.
Nathan sighs again. He scrubs a hand over his face, and meets her eyes. ]
You said you felt like shit.
Nathan sighs again. He scrubs a hand over his face, and meets her eyes. ]
You said you felt like shit.
Oh.
[Still quiet, laced with surprise now. She's really not used to this, to people just... being here for her. Sure, Sam and Nico would have been, but Nico is her brother, and she's always considered Sam an exception. Ian getting so protective when he saw her bandaged hand, Lance being so willing to talk her through her stupid issues, Nathan dragging himself over here just because she said she was upset...
It's a little overwhelming. A little scary. A rush of fondness tempers those emotions, though. Still, there's a part of her that doesn't get why they seem to like her so much.
She swallows, picking at the bandages on her hand absently.]
I didn't think you'd come here for that.
[Wait, that sounds awful.]
I mean, it's— It's nice, I just thought you... I don't know.
[Still quiet, laced with surprise now. She's really not used to this, to people just... being here for her. Sure, Sam and Nico would have been, but Nico is her brother, and she's always considered Sam an exception. Ian getting so protective when he saw her bandaged hand, Lance being so willing to talk her through her stupid issues, Nathan dragging himself over here just because she said she was upset...
It's a little overwhelming. A little scary. A rush of fondness tempers those emotions, though. Still, there's a part of her that doesn't get why they seem to like her so much.
She swallows, picking at the bandages on her hand absently.]
I didn't think you'd come here for that.
[Wait, that sounds awful.]
I mean, it's— It's nice, I just thought you... I don't know.
Thought what.
[ He doesn't sound as impatient or frustrated with her hesitance as he's been before. Can't be, considering. Some of this feels like balancing on the edge of a knife -- not friendship, exactly, but the last person he'd considered a friend had said goodbye to him at the steps of the Menagerie, full of pity and anger and the knowledge that she could never forgive him. Nothing he didn't deserve. He misses Steph a lot.
So. It's-- rusty, this offer of friendship he's suddenly realizing he's giving. And strange, and new. But he thinks, he understands Kyna. Loss. Being lost. ]
[ He doesn't sound as impatient or frustrated with her hesitance as he's been before. Can't be, considering. Some of this feels like balancing on the edge of a knife -- not friendship, exactly, but the last person he'd considered a friend had said goodbye to him at the steps of the Menagerie, full of pity and anger and the knowledge that she could never forgive him. Nothing he didn't deserve. He misses Steph a lot.
So. It's-- rusty, this offer of friendship he's suddenly realizing he's giving. And strange, and new. But he thinks, he understands Kyna. Loss. Being lost. ]
[She tilts her head, lets out a quiet sound, suddenly and clearly regretting saying anything. She doesn't know the best way to explain this.]
I guess... I figured maybe I was annoying you. Or that after the slug...
[He'd been brusque with her like he always is, but it had felt different. Part of that might be down to her own discomfort, but still.]
I guess... I figured maybe I was annoying you. Or that after the slug...
[He'd been brusque with her like he always is, but it had felt different. Part of that might be down to her own discomfort, but still.]
[ To be fair: everything fucking annoys him. Not having magic. Not having caffeine or nicotine and drinking shitty beer. Not having books, missing pages and paper, too scared or cowardly or defeated to even try anything serious where spellwork is concerned. He gives her a Look, briefly, with his brows raised, but it's more self-deprecating than him trying to assert something. ]
I told you. I don't care about that.
[ The stabbing's a non-issue. ]
That it?
I told you. I don't care about that.
[ The stabbing's a non-issue. ]
That it?
[ Way to fucking blindside him.
Is that what this is about? Jesus. Something in his gut twists sharper than getting fucking stabbed. Funny, how it feels a lot like shame. ]
You talk a lot.
[ It's not meant to sting, that observation. Like 99% of people don't talk 'a lot', compared to Nathan. Flatly, ]
Sometimes you ask questions I don't want to answer, Kyna.
Is that what this is about? Jesus. Something in his gut twists sharper than getting fucking stabbed. Funny, how it feels a lot like shame. ]
You talk a lot.
[ It's not meant to sting, that observation. Like 99% of people don't talk 'a lot', compared to Nathan. Flatly, ]
Sometimes you ask questions I don't want to answer, Kyna.
[ His brows pull together, then lift up.
Little more serious than that, sometimes. Hits a sore spot he doesn't want to show. Harder, too, to ask a virtual stranger to lay the fuck off. But it's not like she doesn't have a point. ]
Okay.
[ So he will. From now on. Probably. ]
You gonna believe me when I say I don't blame you?
[ If they're going to clear things up, now. ]
Little more serious than that, sometimes. Hits a sore spot he doesn't want to show. Harder, too, to ask a virtual stranger to lay the fuck off. But it's not like she doesn't have a point. ]
Okay.
[ So he will. From now on. Probably. ]
You gonna believe me when I say I don't blame you?
[ If they're going to clear things up, now. ]
[ He settles in, then. Arms folded now, something about the set of his shoulders relaxes a little. But that doesn't mean his expression doesn't sharpen into something more attentive. ]
No.
[ Nothing that he couldn't... unknit. But keep going, Kyna. He's listening. ]
No.
[ Nothing that he couldn't... unknit. But keep going, Kyna. He's listening. ]
Me neither. Before that, I mean.
[Truth be told, she's not sure where she's going with this, and it's harder to focus when he's so intense. She sighs, gaze wandering to the windows.]
I'm just sick of shit messing with me here, I guess. Back home I could always handle it.
[Truth be told, she's not sure where she's going with this, and it's harder to focus when he's so intense. She sighs, gaze wandering to the windows.]
I'm just sick of shit messing with me here, I guess. Back home I could always handle it.
Back home, you were a student to something.
[ He sounds calm, about that. How their worlds are different, but he's confident that this might be another thoroughline that connects them. Magic requires study. Resources. Laws and languages that have a common root somewhere. ]
We got new rules here. [ Matter-of-factly, ] You'll handle it. You'll figure it out because I believe that you can.
[ There's no alternative. It's not even failure, it's just-- the next step in the process. Something he used to tell the Kid, back when he'd first come to study at the Menagerie. ]
[ He sounds calm, about that. How their worlds are different, but he's confident that this might be another thoroughline that connects them. Magic requires study. Resources. Laws and languages that have a common root somewhere. ]
We got new rules here. [ Matter-of-factly, ] You'll handle it. You'll figure it out because I believe that you can.
[ There's no alternative. It's not even failure, it's just-- the next step in the process. Something he used to tell the Kid, back when he'd first come to study at the Menagerie. ]
[ Faith. Nathan's never thought of it like that, much. His frown twists up his calmness some, though for once it's not because something's irritating him. His jaw works. The impulse to leave rises and falls, and eventually he just-- sighs, with a shrug. ]
'Cause I think you could use some.
[ Nathan never was a good teacher. Worse friend, too, most days. The instincts are still there, though, if rusty, near-painful to use again. ]
'Cause I think you could use some.
[ Nathan never was a good teacher. Worse friend, too, most days. The instincts are still there, though, if rusty, near-painful to use again. ]
[It means a lot. More than he knows, probably. For someone to know exactly what she's lost and still say you can start again... It eases some of her fear. Not entirely, but it's a start.]
Thanks.
[She says it soft and genuine, and then forces a little wry, self-deprecating smile.]
You're not really into hugs, are you?
Thanks.
[She says it soft and genuine, and then forces a little wry, self-deprecating smile.]
You're not really into hugs, are you?
Yeah.
[ To varying degrees of it. Who gives a shit. They're all adjusting. He's fine enough, and he gestures vaguely to her front door. ]
Might not be fine if I'm late to work.
[ Considering what they've just been talking about. The abrupt leaving, and everything, though he's nowhere near going to be late for work. He's got an hour to spare.
But it's a convenient out, too. It's a self-preservation thing. Not one he can verbalize entirely, just yet, but least he's mentioning it. ]
[ To varying degrees of it. Who gives a shit. They're all adjusting. He's fine enough, and he gestures vaguely to her front door. ]
Might not be fine if I'm late to work.
[ Considering what they've just been talking about. The abrupt leaving, and everything, though he's nowhere near going to be late for work. He's got an hour to spare.
But it's a convenient out, too. It's a self-preservation thing. Not one he can verbalize entirely, just yet, but least he's mentioning it. ]
[ And then there's sort of an. Awkward moment, maybe. Nathan sort of stares at Kyna, eyes glancing between her and the door. Brow furrows as he stares down at his feet, then again at the door.
And then he just. Cuts it off with a short nod, whatever that was, whatever thought or action or lack of physical courage was there. ]
Alright.
[ See you round, Mayfly. ]
And then he just. Cuts it off with a short nod, whatever that was, whatever thought or action or lack of physical courage was there. ]
Alright.
[ See you round, Mayfly. ]
Like fish in that some are cute and some are sharks?
You probably could've just said they're like dogs in that context and got the point across.
[He had to say it, okay, it's impossible not to.]
You probably could've just said they're like dogs in that context and got the point across.
[He had to say it, okay, it's impossible not to.]
Page 35 of 108
- «
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
- 6
- 7
- 8
- 9
- 10
- 11
- 12
- 13
- 14
- 15
- 16
- 17
- 18
- 19
- 20
- 21
- 22
- 23
- 24
- 25
- 26
- 27
- 28
- 29
- 30
- 31
- 32
- 33
- 34
- 35
- 36
- 37
- 38
- 39
- 40
- 41
- 42
- 43
- 44
- 45
- 46
- 47
- 48
- 49
- 50
- 51
- 52
- 53
- 54
- 55
- 56
- 57
- 58
- 59
- 60
- 61
- 62
- 63
- 64
- 65
- 66
- 67
- 68
- 69
- 70
- 71
- 72
- 73
- 74
- 75
- 76
- 77
- 78
- 79
- 80
- 81
- 82
- 83
- 84
- 85
- 86
- 87
- 88
- 89
- 90
- 91
- 92
- 93
- 94
- 95
- 96
- 97
- 98
- 99
- 100
- 101
- 102
- 103
- 104
- 105
- 106
- 107
- 108
- »
Page 35 of 108