[ He doesn't sound as impatient or frustrated with her hesitance as he's been before. Can't be, considering. Some of this feels like balancing on the edge of a knife -- not friendship, exactly, but the last person he'd considered a friend had said goodbye to him at the steps of the Menagerie, full of pity and anger and the knowledge that she could never forgive him. Nothing he didn't deserve. He misses Steph a lot.
So. It's-- rusty, this offer of friendship he's suddenly realizing he's giving. And strange, and new. But he thinks, he understands Kyna. Loss. Being lost. ]
[ To be fair: everything fucking annoys him. Not having magic. Not having caffeine or nicotine and drinking shitty beer. Not having books, missing pages and paper, too scared or cowardly or defeated to even try anything serious where spellwork is concerned. He gives her a Look, briefly, with his brows raised, but it's more self-deprecating than him trying to assert something. ]
Little more serious than that, sometimes. Hits a sore spot he doesn't want to show. Harder, too, to ask a virtual stranger to lay the fuck off. But it's not like she doesn't have a point. ]
Okay.
[ So he will. From now on. Probably. ]
You gonna believe me when I say I don't blame you?
[ He settles in, then. Arms folded now, something about the set of his shoulders relaxes a little. But that doesn't mean his expression doesn't sharpen into something more attentive. ]
No.
[ Nothing that he couldn't... unknit. But keep going, Kyna. He's listening. ]
[ He sounds calm, about that. How their worlds are different, but he's confident that this might be another thoroughline that connects them. Magic requires study. Resources. Laws and languages that have a common root somewhere. ]
We got new rules here. [ Matter-of-factly, ] You'll handle it. You'll figure it out because I believe that you can.
[ There's no alternative. It's not even failure, it's just-- the next step in the process. Something he used to tell the Kid, back when he'd first come to study at the Menagerie. ]
[ Faith. Nathan's never thought of it like that, much. His frown twists up his calmness some, though for once it's not because something's irritating him. His jaw works. The impulse to leave rises and falls, and eventually he just-- sighs, with a shrug. ]
'Cause I think you could use some.
[ Nathan never was a good teacher. Worse friend, too, most days. The instincts are still there, though, if rusty, near-painful to use again. ]
[It means a lot. More than he knows, probably. For someone to know exactly what she's lost and still say you can start again... It eases some of her fear. Not entirely, but it's a start.]
Thanks.
[She says it soft and genuine, and then forces a little wry, self-deprecating smile.]
[ To varying degrees of it. Who gives a shit. They're all adjusting. He's fine enough, and he gestures vaguely to her front door. ]
Might not be fine if I'm late to work.
[ Considering what they've just been talking about. The abrupt leaving, and everything, though he's nowhere near going to be late for work. He's got an hour to spare.
But it's a convenient out, too. It's a self-preservation thing. Not one he can verbalize entirely, just yet, but least he's mentioning it. ]
[ And then there's sort of an. Awkward moment, maybe. Nathan sort of stares at Kyna, eyes glancing between her and the door. Brow furrows as he stares down at his feet, then again at the door.
And then he just. Cuts it off with a short nod, whatever that was, whatever thought or action or lack of physical courage was there. ]
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[ He doesn't sound as impatient or frustrated with her hesitance as he's been before. Can't be, considering. Some of this feels like balancing on the edge of a knife -- not friendship, exactly, but the last person he'd considered a friend had said goodbye to him at the steps of the Menagerie, full of pity and anger and the knowledge that she could never forgive him. Nothing he didn't deserve. He misses Steph a lot.
So. It's-- rusty, this offer of friendship he's suddenly realizing he's giving. And strange, and new. But he thinks, he understands Kyna. Loss. Being lost. ]
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I guess... I figured maybe I was annoying you. Or that after the slug...
[He'd been brusque with her like he always is, but it had felt different. Part of that might be down to her own discomfort, but still.]
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I told you. I don't care about that.
[ The stabbing's a non-issue. ]
That it?
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[No.]
How come you just... leave sometimes?
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Is that what this is about? Jesus. Something in his gut twists sharper than getting fucking stabbed. Funny, how it feels a lot like shame. ]
You talk a lot.
[ It's not meant to sting, that observation. Like 99% of people don't talk 'a lot', compared to Nathan. Flatly, ]
Sometimes you ask questions I don't want to answer, Kyna.
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You could just tell me that, you know. Just say you don't want to talk about it or something.
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Little more serious than that, sometimes. Hits a sore spot he doesn't want to show. Harder, too, to ask a virtual stranger to lay the fuck off. But it's not like she doesn't have a point. ]
Okay.
[ So he will. From now on. Probably. ]
You gonna believe me when I say I don't blame you?
[ If they're going to clear things up, now. ]
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[That's honest, at least.]
Have you ever been... you know. Possessed or controlled before?
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No.
[ Nothing that he couldn't... unknit. But keep going, Kyna. He's listening. ]
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[Truth be told, she's not sure where she's going with this, and it's harder to focus when he's so intense. She sighs, gaze wandering to the windows.]
I'm just sick of shit messing with me here, I guess. Back home I could always handle it.
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[ He sounds calm, about that. How their worlds are different, but he's confident that this might be another thoroughline that connects them. Magic requires study. Resources. Laws and languages that have a common root somewhere. ]
We got new rules here. [ Matter-of-factly, ] You'll handle it. You'll figure it out because I believe that you can.
[ There's no alternative. It's not even failure, it's just-- the next step in the process. Something he used to tell the Kid, back when he'd first come to study at the Menagerie. ]
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Why do you have all this... faith in me?
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'Cause I think you could use some.
[ Nathan never was a good teacher. Worse friend, too, most days. The instincts are still there, though, if rusty, near-painful to use again. ]
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Thanks.
[She says it soft and genuine, and then forces a little wry, self-deprecating smile.]
You're not really into hugs, are you?
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Rather not.
[ 'Least she's asking, this time. ]
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Okay, fine. Are you okay, though?
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[ To varying degrees of it. Who gives a shit. They're all adjusting. He's fine enough, and he gestures vaguely to her front door. ]
Might not be fine if I'm late to work.
[ Considering what they've just been talking about. The abrupt leaving, and everything, though he's nowhere near going to be late for work. He's got an hour to spare.
But it's a convenient out, too. It's a self-preservation thing. Not one he can verbalize entirely, just yet, but least he's mentioning it. ]
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[She's not sure if she believes him, if only because he always seems to be looking for an excuse to leave, but at least he's warning her.]
Um... I'll talk to you later?
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And then he just. Cuts it off with a short nod, whatever that was, whatever thought or action or lack of physical courage was there. ]
Alright.
[ See you round, Mayfly. ]