（ which sounds hypocritical comin' from him, so after a moment his expression twists an' he shakes his head to continue — ）
For me, I've talked to the dead since I was knee high to a grasshopper. It's part of my life, but it meant that death never held no great mystery for me, and no especial fear. But other folks don't have that foreknowledge, and death — it ought to be something you don't get desensitized to. It should hurt every time. It's when you get too used to it you ought to worry.
So don't give yourself a hard time about it, yeah? Everyone is going to need space to grieve and come to terms with everything that happened. Hell, there ain't exactly a precedent in psychology for what we're doing here, literally experiencing death and then walking away from it with near as no repercussions except in the mind. Folks are sometimes tempted to forget it's a critical organ too, with its own species of hurt.
i'm trying not to give myself a hard time about it i just don't know what to do with it and i had to kill someone too, and i don't know i'm worried about everyone coming back but i don't know how to work though this shit myself either sorry i'm just totally unloading on you i guess i'm just sick of getting fucked with, and it's been happening a lot lately
I've been thinking we ought to try and find the Gold god. If the monsters have something to do with Grey, could be it's in something of a precarious position itself.
Doubt we want a repeat of what happened with Blue, given all of us being here.
that's a good idea remember those dreams we had before the monster attack? maybe that was some kind of connection with gold like gold was reaching out to us, or we were sensing them without realizing it i think if we really dug down into figuring out our powers, a lot of this stuff would fall into place more easily
well, back home i had a leg up because i had people to teach me, you know? here it's going to be a lot of trial and error and practice but our powers seem really melded with us, like they play off of our personalities and pasts all the shared dreams i've been in have been really intimate, you know? people's hopes or fears or memories the empathy bond and memory sharing is the same, and a lot of people think our powers represent us so i think we have to trust ourselves and try to work with them as intuitively as possible and i think connecting with each other might help, too a lot of what we can already do relies on that, right?
If he's half so tough as the elder of the two, I assure you he'll be right as rain.
（ dean's had a traumatic life. stands to reason sam was there for some of that, and you build... callouses, almost, against it. dean shrugged off dying a hell of a lot easier than he shrugged off what lead to it, anyhow. ）
as far as the depths of human depravity goes, it was tame. ugly, sure, an' he's glad to be out of it, but it could'a been so much worse. an' he's glad, at least, that for all the suffering that the aerie brought about it didn't venture into all those awful places he knows humans don't take much issue stoopin' to. he exhales, pinches the bridge of his nose. ）
Yeah.
How's the city doing? You guys seeing a lot of folk come back yet?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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i know
i'm not used to seeing so many people dying
so it's hard to shake
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（ which sounds hypocritical comin' from him, so after a moment his expression twists an' he shakes his head to continue — ）
For me, I've talked to the dead since I was knee high to a grasshopper. It's part of my life, but it meant that death never held no great mystery for me, and no especial fear. But other folks don't have that foreknowledge, and death — it ought to be something you don't get desensitized to. It should hurt every time. It's when you get too used to it you ought to worry.
So don't give yourself a hard time about it, yeah? Everyone is going to need space to grieve and come to terms with everything that happened. Hell, there ain't exactly a precedent in psychology for what we're doing here, literally experiencing death and then walking away from it with near as no repercussions except in the mind. Folks are sometimes tempted to forget it's a critical organ too, with its own species of hurt.
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i just don't know what to do with it
and i had to kill someone too, and
i don't know
i'm worried about everyone coming back but i don't know how to work though this shit myself either
sorry
i'm just totally unloading on you
i guess i'm just sick of getting fucked with, and it's been happening a lot lately
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What else's been going on?
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the riverstone shit, and that time a bunch of us got kidnapped
we keep getting forced into these impossible situations
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All we can do is deal with them once we're in the thick of it.
I think you're doing all right, everything considered. Lord knows it's a lot.
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but i'm sick of just reacting to everything once it's already happening and already a shitshow
i think ren's right
we need to be more proactive
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But some folks aren't going to want to do that, and that's fine too.
We'd all get along a lot better if everyone accepted people aren't gonna move in the same directions at the same times.
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if some people want to hang back, fine
i just can't do it anymore
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Doubt we want a repeat of what happened with Blue, given all of us being here.
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remember those dreams we had before the monster attack? maybe that was some kind of connection with gold
like gold was reaching out to us, or we were sensing them without realizing it
i think if we really dug down into figuring out our powers, a lot of this stuff would fall into place more easily
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here it's going to be a lot of trial and error and practice
but our powers seem really melded with us, like they play off of our personalities and pasts
all the shared dreams i've been in have been really
intimate, you know? people's hopes or fears or memories
the empathy bond and memory sharing is the same, and a lot of people think our powers represent us
so i think we have to trust ourselves and try to work with them as intuitively as possible
and i think connecting with each other might help, too
a lot of what we can already do relies on that, right?
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Could be they could teach us, too. If we can find one of the others.
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sam and i were going to try to dig into that stuff more
winchester, i mean, when he gets back
if he's okay
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If he's half so tough as the elder of the two, I assure you he'll be right as rain.
（ dean's had a traumatic life. stands to reason sam was there for some of that, and you build... callouses, almost, against it. dean shrugged off dying a hell of a lot easier than he shrugged off what lead to it, anyhow. ）
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i just want to make sure, you know?
plus, uh
our relationship was different there
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That was the case for a lot of us. It's gonna make Sunday dinners a lot more complicated, if you catch my drift.
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no kidding
at least some of it was funny
did you see those suits sam drake liked to wear?
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Paid as little mind to the bread and circuses as I could, frankly.
（ even when it was on in the background, he did other things. he never had the taste for it. ）
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i don't blame you
they sucked
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as far as the depths of human depravity goes, it was tame. ugly, sure, an' he's glad to be out of it, but it could'a been so much worse. an' he's glad, at least, that for all the suffering that the aerie brought about it didn't venture into all those awful places he knows humans don't take much issue stoopin' to. he exhales, pinches the bridge of his nose. ）
Yeah.
How's the city doing? You guys seeing a lot of folk come back yet?
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we're still missing a lot, but
i don't know
i'm just hoping they come back soon
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