[She's quiet for a moment again, mulling it over. She's still torn over how much of that other life counts, or how much should count. Everyone seems to have a different opinion.]
[She says it softly, tone tinged with understanding. She knows she's not the same as who she was before the Aerie, too, she's just... not sure what to do with that. How to deal with it.]
[ that's a question he's found harder and harder to answer as he gets older, but kyna doesn't need the whole rundown of how hard identity is when you're a god ]
I am too close to the man who would have killed you because you chose to do what you wished and not what I wished.
i was raised as he was raised, the son of an important man, born to wield power and influence and secure in the knowledge that men would kneel at my feet in fealty. i share his propensity to violence and anger, his short temper, his lust for the enjoyable things of life and his desire to engage in all he does to the fullest. i do not like for my will to be thwarted. i want to succeed at all i do.
and unlike that man, i am a god. i am who the stories told about thor say that i am. and now this story of thor is a part of me, and will be until he is forgotten.
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[ he doesn't want anyone to come after him. ]
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Aye.
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[It comes out a little shakier than she wanted it to.]
I can come meet you. We can talk.
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[ is there a note of regret in his voice? ]
There is no need for you to come here, Kyna.
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[She trails off, quiet and awkward for a moment.]
You know. Having to deal with all this by yourself.
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but he knows he is not worthy of it ]
I have dealt with worse.
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That doesn't mean you have to deal with this alone, or that you deserve to.
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I'm not upset with you. You're a good person.
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[ there's a rumble of thunder on thor's end of the line, then the gradual sound of rain ]
I thank you. Not all I've wrong would be as kind as you have been. But it should not surprise me, you've always been so.
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[ thor sighs ]
But the person I was... I still have those memories. I know how it feels to be him. Me.
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[ something like anger or frustration creeps into his voice, for the first time cutting through the drunken stupor. ]
And I will not remain who I am now.
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[She says it softly, tone tinged with understanding. She knows she's not the same as who she was before the Aerie, too, she's just... not sure what to do with that. How to deal with it.]
Who are you now?
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I am too close to the man who would have killed you because you chose to do what you wished and not what I wished.
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and unlike that man, i am a god. i am who the stories told about thor say that i am. and now this story of thor is a part of me, and will be until he is forgotten.
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