[He gives a long sigh at that, reaching up to run his hand aggressively through his hair just to get the physical jolt of it, before responding--]
Yeah, I'll try that next time I have the mental fortitude to get yelled at again.
[Or ask one of his friends to get yelled at, which is not a more appealing option. But this isn't really going anywhere and they covered what he's promised he would tell her, and now he's just frustrated and agitated on top of depressed. Not that that's unusual, especially not lately, but that doesn't make it a pleasant feeling.
He uncurls his leg and moves to stand up, careful not to do so too quickly, then finally glances at Kyna again.]
I'm going to... I don't know. Try to take a nap or something.
[Except he won't, because he'll get a message from Gaby that will make all of this worse, but at least for right now he's blissfully unaware of that.]
[Kyna sighs too, because she's the queen of shutting down and shutting people out, and that's exactly what he's doing. It feels like he's been doing it a lot.
She reaches out to touch his arm again, not to hold on, but to hopefully get him to stay a second longer.]
[She was expecting a little more resistance, so she's thrown off for a second, but then she continues, voice a little softer.]
There's a lot of people here who really care about you, and a lot of people who would love to help you with... Pretty much anything you could ask for or need. You're not going to feel better until you let them.
[The first thing that comes to mind when she says that--his immediate, instinctive response--is I don't believe you. And as soon as it crosses through his mind, he knows she's right, and so are all the other people who've told him the same thing; not only are they right, he's also gone far past the point when he should've taken the advice.
It's not the first time this has happened and it won't be the last, but it's still always a kind of sickening shock when he recognizes how warped his thinking has gotten. He knows how to fix it, and knows it can be fixed, but it's such an incredibly unpleasant indicator of how far out hand things have gotten.
But because he can recognize it and what it means, instead of I don't believe you, what he says is--]
I know.
[And, logically, he does. He's just going to have to trust only that side of himself, not the emotional side, for a little while.
He offers her a weak attempt at a smile, just for a moment, trying to show her that he did hear what she said and isn't brushing it off, but he just can't act on it immediately. Not without some rest and time to mentally prepare, anyway.]
I'll talk to you later.
[Maybe about this, maybe not, but it's not totally off the table. He just needs a little more time.]
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Yeah, I'll try that next time I have the mental fortitude to get yelled at again.
[Or ask one of his friends to get yelled at, which is not a more appealing option. But this isn't really going anywhere and they covered what he's promised he would tell her, and now he's just frustrated and agitated on top of depressed. Not that that's unusual, especially not lately, but that doesn't make it a pleasant feeling.
He uncurls his leg and moves to stand up, careful not to do so too quickly, then finally glances at Kyna again.]
I'm going to... I don't know. Try to take a nap or something.
[Except he won't, because he'll get a message from Gaby that will make all of this worse, but at least for right now he's blissfully unaware of that.]
no subject
She reaches out to touch his arm again, not to hold on, but to hopefully get him to stay a second longer.]
Lance.
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no subject
There's a lot of people here who really care about you, and a lot of people who would love to help you with... Pretty much anything you could ask for or need. You're not going to feel better until you let them.
no subject
It's not the first time this has happened and it won't be the last, but it's still always a kind of sickening shock when he recognizes how warped his thinking has gotten. He knows how to fix it, and knows it can be fixed, but it's such an incredibly unpleasant indicator of how far out hand things have gotten.
But because he can recognize it and what it means, instead of I don't believe you, what he says is--]
I know.
[And, logically, he does. He's just going to have to trust only that side of himself, not the emotional side, for a little while.
He offers her a weak attempt at a smile, just for a moment, trying to show her that he did hear what she said and isn't brushing it off, but he just can't act on it immediately. Not without some rest and time to mentally prepare, anyway.]
I'll talk to you later.
[Maybe about this, maybe not, but it's not totally off the table. He just needs a little more time.]