Yes. Supposed to be. It's a long complicated explanation I'd also need you to keep quiet, but if you don't mind the extra burden...
[ He couldn't say why he trusts her, except that Kyna seems honest and Wash knows he won't survive here without connecting with someone. Someone should know, too, he's definitely going to have to tell Strange if he looks into the security position, and he doesn't really want a total stranger to be the first one to know. ]
The super simple version is they weren't combat soldiers.
[ Wash hesitates, because she didn't exactly promise again, but in the end decides the first one was good enough. ]
Yes, especially during a war. But... these guys washed out of basic and wound up part of a military experiment instead. A different side of the experiment I was a part of.
Yeah. To create a new breed of supersoldier, so we could win the war. Every branch was looking for a magic bullet, and it didn't really go well for anyone.
[ He's talked about this plenty since Freelancer fell, to the point it's just facts rather than enraging, but Kyna's never heard it. And she signed up for dinner, not... this. ]
We can talk about something more fun, I didn't mean to invite you out and go straight to something so heavy.
[ It takes him a moment to realize why she's asking -- duh. she can see his face. Probably wonders if she said something wrong but the fact is she said something right. Or at the very least, something kind.
Quickly, Wash shakes himself out of his confusion and offers her a smile. It's small but genuine. ]
--sorry, yeah. I'm fine. That was just really nice of you. [ Then he has to glance away awkwardly, back towards the lights of the carnival, because explaining his reaction is embarrassing. ] I don't think anyone's ever just sympathized before.
[ He kind of shrugs, because... that's just how it is, in his world. People either brush him off or make fun of him for having been traumatized because buddy we've all got something. If they do understand they don't really say it because that would show weakness on their part, and no one he's around much besides Caboose is much with the compassion for others' problems. ]
My world sucks, everyone's had something terrible happen to them and we aren't usually heart to heart types.
[ Maybe he shouldn't have brought it up at all. It's easy enough to look back at her when he tries, though, his smile taking a moment to return when he sees her expression. But he manages. ]
Or maybe you're just a lot nicer than most of the people I hang out with.
They're not awful, not really. They're just not...
[ God, how's the way to put this? ]
They're sort of assholes even when they're doing good things? I know they care but they never really say it, that kind of thing. Once when I said I believed in them, they started panicking that I was getting sappy because we were all going to die... it's that level of 'not saying nice things.'
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[ He misses his idiots... ]
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Aren't marines supposed to be the best of the best or whatever?
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[ He couldn't say why he trusts her, except that Kyna seems honest and Wash knows he won't survive here without connecting with someone. Someone should know, too, he's definitely going to have to tell Strange if he looks into the security position, and he doesn't really want a total stranger to be the first one to know. ]
The super simple version is they weren't combat soldiers.
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Aren't... most marines supposed to be in combat?
[Okay, she's kind of ignorant when it comes to the military, especially the Space Military, but hey. She's trying.]
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Yes, especially during a war. But... these guys washed out of basic and wound up part of a military experiment instead. A different side of the experiment I was a part of.
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[That's... a lot to take in, and Kyna hesitates, expression shifting to something more serious.]
You were part of an experiment?
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[ He's talked about this plenty since Freelancer fell, to the point it's just facts rather than enraging, but Kyna's never heard it. And she signed up for dinner, not... this. ]
We can talk about something more fun, I didn't mean to invite you out and go straight to something so heavy.
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[It's not that she minds it's just... once again, someone is offering up something personal to her, and she has no idea how to respond.]
That fucking sucks. I'm sorry.
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Has anyone ever...?
No, he doesn't think so. ]
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Um... Are you okay?
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Quickly, Wash shakes himself out of his confusion and offers her a smile. It's small but genuine. ]
--sorry, yeah. I'm fine. That was just really nice of you. [ Then he has to glance away awkwardly, back towards the lights of the carnival, because explaining his reaction is embarrassing. ] I don't think anyone's ever just sympathized before.
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What? They haven't? How?
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My world sucks, everyone's had something terrible happen to them and we aren't usually heart to heart types.
[ Maybe he shouldn't have brought it up at all. It's easy enough to look back at her when he tries, though, his smile taking a moment to return when he sees her expression. But he manages. ]
Or maybe you're just a lot nicer than most of the people I hang out with.
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I'm nice? I suck at heart to hearts, too. But that's still... you know. Anyone would think that sounds awful.
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[ God, how's the way to put this? ]
They're sort of assholes even when they're doing good things? I know they care but they never really say it, that kind of thing. Once when I said I believed in them, they started panicking that I was getting sappy because we were all going to die... it's that level of 'not saying nice things.'
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God, okay. But... I don't know. I suck at this shit and I still think that's kind of bad.
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When I get home I'll be sure to tell them that you think they suck. But I promised you dinner, come on. We're almost there.
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[ He's only half joking though. ]