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[evocation]

@kyna.medina | ■ ▲ ◌ ▼

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[magicalglowstick]

[He lets out something between a laugh and a sigh. He can't believe he's actually going to tell someone this but:]

Stop apologizing.

[He's far too used to others tactlessly asking questions, prying, and when he gives them an answer they clam up, stammer some half assed apology, or say something irritating. whenever someone genuine comes along it's...weird. He doesn't quite know how to handle it.]

Does it not bother you to hear these things?

[evocation]

[It's instinctive for her to apologize—she knows how bad she is at this. To be honest, though, it's a bit of a relief that he tells her not to.

His question makes her frown again, and she stares down at her legs, picking at the hem of her shorts.]

Yes?

[She makes a face, faltering as she tries to think of how to explain it.]

I mean... I hate that it happened to you, but I want to hear it, too. I want to get it. Does that make sense?

[magicalglowstick]

I...yes. I suppose it does.

[It makes sense, but it's not the kind of answer he was expecting. To be honest, he's not sure what kind of answer he was expecting.

He pauses, staring down at his hands on his lap, slowly pulling off one of his gloves as he stares down at the markings that run from his wrist to his fingers.]

After my first escape from Danarius I found myself among the company of Fog Warriors. They're native to the jungles of Seheron — the greatness of their land diminished by the constant warring between the Tevinter Imperium and the Qunari. Both battling for control of the land while the natives were left with all the destruction. But they refused to succumb to such a fate and launched guerrilla strikes among fog, silently taking down their occupiers before they were even aware they were being attacked.

[Fenris' tone drips in admiration, and even a fondness as he speaks about the Fog Warriors.]

They educated me on the Qun — the Qunari code of honor, and I found myself in awe of their strength and unwillingness to bow to anyone. I was there for a few months. I was...happy.

[He frowns, hand laying limp on his lap.]

Then Danarius found me. The Fog Warriors stood with me — they would refuse to let him take me. And yet...when he stood there, smiled at me, greeted me as "my pet" and ordered me to kill them...I did it. I killed all of them. As I said before, I felt that it was inevitable. No matter what happened in those few months I was free, my place would be beside my master, and there was no getting around it.

[He pointedly avoids making any eye contact in his retelling, now staring down at the floor.]

It took me staring down at the bodies of those I spent months with for me to finally snap out of it. I attacked Danarius and his men and fled. Danarius survived, of course, and it would not be the last time I saw him. I was angry whenever he sent his men after me. And though there came a time where I was finally done running...part of me was scared I would look upon him and feel that...pull.

And I am afraid to feel it again.

[evocation]

[As she listens, she tries to keep her expression neutral, but that's never been easy for her. The story makes her ache for him, and she can't hide it. Kyna can't imagine it, can't imagine being given an order and feeling so trapped that you just do it, but it puts everything else in perspective.

She can't hold his hand, not with that stupid empathy bond. It feels invasive to have front row seats to his emotions, and though she won't admit it, the idea of sharing hers is a little terrifying, too. Kyna loops her fingers around his wrist instead, squeezing gently.]

Are you afraid you'll feel it with someone else, too?

[magicalglowstick]

[He looks down at her hand around his wrist, features softening as he squeezes his glove being held in the very same hand.]

A person, or a place. We're told we must blend in here; get jobs, places to live...I could easily just accept that I am stuck here.

[evocation]

[Kyna bites her lip, shifting in place, not entirely sure what to say. So, as always, she defaults to her usual strategy.]

Hey.

[There's a slight teasing edge that creeps into her voice.]

Do you think I'm just gonna let you get a shitty job and give up?

[magicalglowstick]

[Somehow, that helps, because he just...laughs. Sometimes she reminds him too much of Hawke, except...maybe a little more like himself.]

You're ridiculous.

[But he means that in the most affectionate way possible. Not That he'll say that out loud.]

[evocation]

[Oh, hey. A laugh. Kyna grins, relieved and oddly proud for not screwing this one up.]

But you're still hanging out with me.

[magicalglowstick]

[He smile keeps, even.]

There must be something wrong with me.

[evocation]

Definitely.

[She gives his wrist another squeeze.]

Thanks for telling me all this.

[magicalglowstick]

[After a moment of hesitation he lifts his other gloved hand and gently lays it atop the one holding his wrist, giving a small squeeze of his own, but he's quick to not let the touch linger.]

Thank you...for listening.

[evocation]

[Kyna's always been a touchy-feely person. It's just the way she is, and sometimes it's the easiest way for her to connect with other people. Fenris doesn't really strike her as the type, though, and so when he squeezes her hand, for a split second she can't hide her surprise.]

Sure. Maybe... I don't know. Maybe things'll get easier?

[magicalglowstick]

Perhaps. It is not as if I haven't fought these thoughts before.

[It's just difficult to keep fighting them. But he's going to have to.]

I will just have to try harder.

[evocation]

I can try to help.

[Not that she really knows how, but...]

Even if you just need... company or something.

[magicalglowstick]

[Fenris laughs again, but this time it's a little more awkward.]

Company...would be nice.

[Leave him alone he's bad at this.]

[evocation]

Okay.

[She scoots closer, nudging her hip into his.]

I'd hang out with you more if you weren't always avoiding the safehouse.

[magicalglowstick]

[He instinctively leans against her slightly in response, not even realizing he's doing it.]

It's too crowded here.

[evocation]

[It's comforting whether he realizes it or not, so she doesn't move.]

Yeah, it fucking sucks. Where have you been going?

[magicalglowstick]

[He sighs, because even though he just got through freaking out about playing along to this kidnapping...]

I found someplace recently...to stay. It isn't much, but it's not here.

[evocation]

You did? Where? With what money?

[It's twenty questions time.]

[magicalglowstick]

[He glances about just to make sure no one is about to walk in.]

It's in a building not too far off from here. [An apartment building is the word he's looking for.] I've...been fighting in an underground arena to get by. It's really the only thing I can do.

It's a small place but it is far better than being crammed in here.

[evocation]

You what?

[She's... not sure how she feels about that, actually.]

Since when?

[magicalglowstick]

[Why does he suddenly feel bad?]

A while? The days just blur together here, Kyna.

[Also he's making a living getting the shit kicked out of him that tends to contribute to said blurring.]

I would have said something sooner but...I felt ashamed. Fighting like caged hounds for people who either have too much money and no idea what to do with it or the desperate. But it got me out of here.

[evocation]

[Her mouth twists.]

You don't have to be ashamed, it's just... what if you got hurt or something?

[And she didn't know and couldn't help, she means, but doesn't say.]

[magicalglowstick]

If getting hurt is the worst I have to worry about then that is an improvement from normal. I can take care of myself.

[Stop worrying so much, it's WEIRD and he doesn't know how to feel about it.]