[Which she thinks is part of it. But the other part—the part that keeps popping up in her head when she's not blaming herself—is that he might be ghosting her because something freaked him out. Got too close for comfort. How many times has she done the same thing to someone else?]
[Oh, interesting. The earthquake causing a change in behavior wouldn't be surprising, but her comment about the empathy bond is an unexpected but just as reasonable explanation.
His first conclusion is a little different than the one Kyna's thinking of, though.]
Is it possible he felt vulnerable or embarrassed because of the empathy bond, and so he's acting unnecessarily defensive?
[The situation kind of warranted some extra emotion. But he feels pretty confident in his conclusion now.]
It sounds like he needs space, after being more emotionally exposed than he might otherwise like to be. Asking him if he's alright would've reinforced to him that you've seen through whatever facade he likes to present, and so he reacted by withdrawing even further.
[Pretty common behavior, so it's not taking a huge leap and he's pretty sure that's what's going on. He feels he should reassure Kyna, though--]
You didn't do anything wrong, and he's probably not actually upset with you, just the situation. Not that it excuses his behavior.
He is a bit of an idiot, but at least it's just 'emotions are scary' idiocy.
[Which is pretty low on the list, especially since it's so understandable. Or maybe Lance is slightly biased because he's pulled this exact same idiot move before but even more dramatically.
Nah.]
Hopefully he'll realize his mistake after he's given some time and will reach out to you on his own, but it's possible he'll decide that you don't want to talk to him and so will continue to avoid you. In that case, you might have to try to reach out again, if you want to.
[Kyna sighs dramatically. Translation: She doesn't want to, and... It's really not because of Ian. She thinks he's being a dick, sure, but she's done this exact same thing to people. It usually takes her longer to get there, but she's not sure how to confront that about herself yet, as aware of it as she is.
[He wishes he could just fix the problem for her, but unfortunately life doesn't work that way. So he's just glad that talking seems to have helped a little, and gives a faint smile at her thanks.]
[He isn't expecting the question, although he probably should've been, and so offers lamely--]
I don't really have anything to complain about.
[Which sounds fake even to himself as he says it, oops. But the things he has to bitch about are not things he necessarily wants to get into, and so he's torn between wanting to offer something to make things 'fair' after Kyna confided in him, and not wanting to say anything at all.
And then something super basic and unimportant comes to mind, and he latches onto that.]
Except that it was somehow easier to get coffee in a wasteland run by aliens than it is here.
[He shrugs again, crossing his arms. With the specific qualifier of 'annoying' he can answer honestly--]
Not really, I mean... I'm sure something will annoy me once I get more used to being here, but like, all the little annoying sorts of things are so much better than in Hadriel that I'm not even noticing them.
[Both in saying it and thinking it; he dislikes a particular eight members of an emotion-eating species, not all aliens, and it's important not to get into that mindset.
Though, going the other way--]
You know, in Hadriel there were people who actually liked the gods and supported what they were doing.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[She's realizing this is edging into "solution" territory, and a part of her isn't sure if she's ready for that.]
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[He isn't exactly sure on the timing, so he might be wrong there.]
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[She sighs, then relents.]
And using the empathy bond during the earthquake.
[Which she thinks is part of it. But the other part—the part that keeps popping up in her head when she's not blaming herself—is that he might be ghosting her because something freaked him out. Got too close for comfort. How many times has she done the same thing to someone else?]
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His first conclusion is a little different than the one Kyna's thinking of, though.]
Is it possible he felt vulnerable or embarrassed because of the empathy bond, and so he's acting unnecessarily defensive?
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[But during the earthquake he'd been panicking, and she thinks that's part of the difference. He'd been so controlled and then not.]
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Was it an accident this time, when it had been purposeful before? Or some other change in the situation?
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[The situation kind of warranted some extra emotion. But he feels pretty confident in his conclusion now.]
It sounds like he needs space, after being more emotionally exposed than he might otherwise like to be. Asking him if he's alright would've reinforced to him that you've seen through whatever facade he likes to present, and so he reacted by withdrawing even further.
[Pretty common behavior, so it's not taking a huge leap and he's pretty sure that's what's going on. He feels he should reassure Kyna, though--]
You didn't do anything wrong, and he's probably not actually upset with you, just the situation. Not that it excuses his behavior.
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That's what I kind of thought, too. [And then, more quietly:] What an idiot.
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He is a bit of an idiot, but at least it's just 'emotions are scary' idiocy.
[Which is pretty low on the list, especially since it's so understandable. Or maybe Lance is slightly biased because he's pulled this exact same idiot move before but even more dramatically.
Nah.]
Hopefully he'll realize his mistake after he's given some time and will reach out to you on his own, but it's possible he'll decide that you don't want to talk to him and so will continue to avoid you. In that case, you might have to try to reach out again, if you want to.
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So, she's going to focus on Lance instead.]
Thanks. You know, for listening.
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Of course. Any time you want to talk.
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I knew you'd be an awesome roommate. And you haven't murdered anyone yet, even.
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Thanks, I think. Not murdering is a really low bar.
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[She reaches out to give his arm a little poke.]
Your turn. What do you want to bitch about?
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I don't really have anything to complain about.
[Which sounds fake even to himself as he says it, oops. But the things he has to bitch about are not things he necessarily wants to get into, and so he's torn between wanting to offer something to make things 'fair' after Kyna confided in him, and not wanting to say anything at all.
And then something super basic and unimportant comes to mind, and he latches onto that.]
Except that it was somehow easier to get coffee in a wasteland run by aliens than it is here.
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Not really, I mean... I'm sure something will annoy me once I get more used to being here, but like, all the little annoying sorts of things are so much better than in Hadriel that I'm not even noticing them.
[General living here is a major step up.]
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[She says, teasingly.]
No aliens are definitely a step up.
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[Although he feels like he should clarify--]
No alien overlords, I mean. Alien citizens are fine.
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[Is that a word? It is now.]
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[Both in saying it and thinking it; he dislikes a particular eight members of an emotion-eating species, not all aliens, and it's important not to get into that mindset.
Though, going the other way--]
You know, in Hadriel there were people who actually liked the gods and supported what they were doing.