[So, of course, he's talking Kyna's post, and of course he's having to fight the mental battle of not saying things he wants to say whenever he reads something that annoys him. There are pros and cons to everything, and he has to take the time and mental effort to weigh them, and on this particularly pressing one he decides to take a middle ground.
So he goes to find Kyna in person, which is not exactly difficult to do in their small apartment.]
Hey, so um, what you just said to Ian about being less concerned about the Displaced that are in Morningstar doing something shady, and more about something shady happening and them being caught up in it too? I don't want to add anything where it's visible on the network, but...
[This time, he finds her laying on the floor, because that's definitely the logical thing to do when you've got a couch and a bed. She sits up when he gets her attention, though.]
[He doesn't even question it, sinking down to sit on the floor too.]
There's no way to ease into this topic, so I guess I just won't, but um... About what I told you happened to me at home, there was... A little more context to it that I didn't mention.
[He takes a deep breath and continues before he loses his nerve.]
The case I was working at the time was a corruption case, about the FBI. The person who killed me wasn't a suspect, he was a hit man; I'd served a warrant on a different suspect and was leaving after that, and no one could've tipped him off quickly enough for him to know where to meet me except for someone in the FBI who'd known about the warrant being issued.
[He doesn't for absolutely certain know that it was someone in the FBI side of things, instead of the person outside of it, but all logic points to the former and he's had a lot of time to think about it.]
Organizations murdering their own agents for challenging their corruption happens, and it happens very quickly.
[Well, that makes a lot of his fear make more sense. Instinctively, she leans against him, resting her head against his shoulder. It's still her go-to when she doesn't know what the hell to say.]
Is that... you know. What you're afraid of happening here?
[The contact is nice, because even though he's getting better about talking about this entire situation it's still helpful to have something grounding.]
Not necessarily that I think it will, but... I mean, the possibility is always there. And in a place like this, with the stakes being so high, it would be willfully blind not to at least consider the chance that the leaders of Morningstar might choose to make sacrifices where necessary.
There doesn't have to be a big point. The corruption case we were working was mostly just blackmail over relatively minor things, not even criminal stuff.
[Which just made the entire thing all the more ridiculous.]
Stephen told me that El is actually the AI who started the war here hundred of years ago. As far as I understand, that was because El thought it was for the best interest of humanity to kill off all those families.
[So what if ze think that putting Morningstar in charge in place of the UNA is worth whatever it takes to get it there?]
[Lance wants to be wrong on this; he would love if everything was exactly as Morningstar said it was and everything goes smoothly and nothing terrible happens. But he'd much rather be proven wrong than proven right and for no one to have even considered what to do if that happened.]
I don't know Jason well enough to say anything, but I think Dean has similar concerns to mine, but he's angry about how things went on my post and in subsequent conversations.
[Not that it necessarily excuses how aggressive he's being, but Lance also isn't going to fault him for it. Besides, he really appreciates that Dean backed him up on this to begin with.]
[Kyna shoots him a playful little smile, trying to keep this at least a little teasing.]
It's not totally about you, Lance, God.
[But, okay.]
It's just... Okay, so back home, magic was kind of... a new thing for most people. It was never public before, but it got to the point where it just couldn't be hidden anymore. So people scrambled to deal with it, right? Which meant that all of a sudden the cops had to start dealing with occult crimes, and they didn't do a... great job.
[She shifts again, head settling back against his shoulder.]
If you want to get all traditional, there are these old, powerful magical families who dealt with that shit. Except a lot of them didn't really care what was going on as long as it didn't affect them. And the cops were... I don't know. Some of them tried, I guess. But if your cousin went missing and you thought they were kidnapped to be used in some ritual, but they were a drug addict, the cops would just brush the whole thing off. Or if you thought some monster killed your son, but he was homeless, they'd say he just drifted off and there was nothing they could do.
[She realizes she's rambling, so she wrinkles her nose and lets out a frustrated sigh at herself.]
What I'm saying is, back home half my job was trying to help the people that the official channels didn't give a shit about, you know? The people they thought were expendable. So I get where Gaby is coming from. And that's why I want to give her the benefit of the doubt.
[This is not what he was expecting and it's a bit of a relief. He listens to her explanation, idly messing with his sleeve a little as she talks, and he's really just not surprised by her description of the cops on her world. He'd never really intended to join law enforcement himself and had quit twice--and knows not that he shouldn't have ever gone back--because he's very aware of the flaws.]
I understand the sentiment.
[He gets why she wants to support Gaby, and wants to believe that she's fighting for the people that aren't being represented by the government, which honestly seems like pretty much everyone. And Lance isn't convinced that that's not the truth; he has no reason to really suspect Gaby personally, and aside from how she'd handled talking to him and the others on his post, she hasn't done anything particularly suspicious.
But there's a disconnect there between Gaby--and other individual Morningstar agents--and the leadership. Especially if that leadership is only one individual with a somewhat sordid history, whose identity is unknown to almost everyone in Morningstar.]
I don't have any problem with Morningstar's stated intention, and I think it's likely that most of the people involved with it--if not all--are doing their best for a good cause. But as far as I understand Gaby's the only one who even knows El is the leader, and that's both a pretty enormous breach of ethics and a worrying sign about what's considered acceptable. I'm just as concerned that Gaby and the other agents might be caught up in something harmful as I am about something like that happening to the Displaced.
[He gets being worried about the people who are considered expendable by those in charge, but there's also a risk of that happening in an organization with a leader that may decide the ends justify the means.]
[That makes sense, and it's a little bit of a relief, knowing that he's worried about all of it, not just them. There's something else she's been wondering about, though, but she's a little afraid to bring it up, so she's just going to try to... ease into it. Just a little nudge.]
Are you afraid that... you know. If you get involved you might get hurt again?
[The question isn't totally unexpected, but he had been hoping to skate by, just talking about the issues in regards to other people after that bit of sharing at the beginning. But it is Kyna, and as much as she seems not to be too confident in her ability to handle these sorts of subjects with other people, the fact that she cares always seems to carry her--both versions of her--through as far as Lance is concerned.
But he still gives a quiet sigh, nudging her in return to stall a bit as he tries to decide how to answer and, honestly, what the answer actually is.]
Sort of.
[But not quite in such a direct way.]
But I don't think I would have to get involved. Just being here is involved enough, if something were to go wrong.
[And that's also something that's bothering him; everyone here would be affected if it's a worst-case sort of scenario, not just people who got involved with Morningstar.]
I'm less worried about being in danger than I am that we might be used in order to do something none of us want.
[And maybe that's really paranoid, even more so than the fear of being murdered again, but that's what he's most worried about. That maybe it would be the utterly catastrophic scenario of this being a long con in order to pull a coup or something, and that people will die, and the Displaced will have unknowingly helped that happen.]
What if El decides, I don't know, that the only way to make things better for people is to wipe out the UNA and for Morningstar to take over? And what if the way to do that is through a revolution, or potentially even outright war, and the support of the agents and the Displaced are what put Morningstar in the position to be able to do that?
[Putting aside if El might even be correct about that being 'better', the fallout would still be enormous, and would they want to have helped something like that along?]
[It's entirely possible that this is completely out there, and his sense of what's likely versus just possible has been skewed by everything that happened in the last few months of being at home and then the last two years spent in Hadriel. But again, it feels like something where he'd rather be wrong than to have not considered it and been right.]
It's just speculation, and not something I would act on other than just being aware of the possibility. I'm worried that people might be so blindly loyal to the cause and the organization that they'll miss warning signs, especially with how vehemently any suspicion is shot down.
[He sighs quietly, returning the nudge unenthusiastically, but for all the hesitation in his physical expression his tone is very sure when he answers.]
Because I can't just stand back and watch something bad happen to someone, especially if I might've been able to do something to prevent it.
[He'll take it as the compliment it was meant as, because he hasn't felt like an especially good person lately.]
I know, and I don't want to try to control people, but I just wish they'd at least consider the possibilities. Still, I mean, I know that all I can do it mention it.
[And so that's what he's just trying to do, and explain the issue when asked, and then let people make their own decisions. He'd just love not to be insulted in the process, but he's definitely used to that.]
[It'd be super convenient and all, but he's pretty sure she knows first hand that it's impossible not to worry about people if you're the type to do so.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[Action]
So he goes to find Kyna in person, which is not exactly difficult to do in their small apartment.]
Hey, so um, what you just said to Ian about being less concerned about the Displaced that are in Morningstar doing something shady, and more about something shady happening and them being caught up in it too? I don't want to add anything where it's visible on the network, but...
[He has something to add.]
Re: [Action]
Yeah?
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There's no way to ease into this topic, so I guess I just won't, but um... About what I told you happened to me at home, there was... A little more context to it that I didn't mention.
[He takes a deep breath and continues before he loses his nerve.]
The case I was working at the time was a corruption case, about the FBI. The person who killed me wasn't a suspect, he was a hit man; I'd served a warrant on a different suspect and was leaving after that, and no one could've tipped him off quickly enough for him to know where to meet me except for someone in the FBI who'd known about the warrant being issued.
[He doesn't for absolutely certain know that it was someone in the FBI side of things, instead of the person outside of it, but all logic points to the former and he's had a lot of time to think about it.]
Organizations murdering their own agents for challenging their corruption happens, and it happens very quickly.
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[Well, that makes a lot of his fear make more sense. Instinctively, she leans against him, resting her head against his shoulder. It's still her go-to when she doesn't know what the hell to say.]
Is that... you know. What you're afraid of happening here?
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Not necessarily that I think it will, but... I mean, the possibility is always there. And in a place like this, with the stakes being so high, it would be willfully blind not to at least consider the chance that the leaders of Morningstar might choose to make sacrifices where necessary.
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What would the point be, though?
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[Which just made the entire thing all the more ridiculous.]
Stephen told me that El is actually the AI who started the war here hundred of years ago. As far as I understand, that was because El thought it was for the best interest of humanity to kill off all those families.
[So what if ze think that putting Morningstar in charge in place of the UNA is worth whatever it takes to get it there?]
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I get it. Maybe El learned zir lesson, but it's smart to be careful or whatever.
[That said...]
It just sounds like Dean and Jason are like, ready to build an air raid shelter or something.
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[Lance wants to be wrong on this; he would love if everything was exactly as Morningstar said it was and everything goes smoothly and nothing terrible happens. But he'd much rather be proven wrong than proven right and for no one to have even considered what to do if that happened.]
I don't know Jason well enough to say anything, but I think Dean has similar concerns to mine, but he's angry about how things went on my post and in subsequent conversations.
[Not that it necessarily excuses how aggressive he's being, but Lance also isn't going to fault him for it. Besides, he really appreciates that Dean backed him up on this to begin with.]
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If I tell you something, do you promise not to take it personally?
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[He's half joking and half serious, and also maybe kind of curious.]
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It's not totally about you, Lance, God.
[But, okay.]
It's just... Okay, so back home, magic was kind of... a new thing for most people. It was never public before, but it got to the point where it just couldn't be hidden anymore. So people scrambled to deal with it, right? Which meant that all of a sudden the cops had to start dealing with occult crimes, and they didn't do a... great job.
[She shifts again, head settling back against his shoulder.]
If you want to get all traditional, there are these old, powerful magical families who dealt with that shit. Except a lot of them didn't really care what was going on as long as it didn't affect them. And the cops were... I don't know. Some of them tried, I guess. But if your cousin went missing and you thought they were kidnapped to be used in some ritual, but they were a drug addict, the cops would just brush the whole thing off. Or if you thought some monster killed your son, but he was homeless, they'd say he just drifted off and there was nothing they could do.
[She realizes she's rambling, so she wrinkles her nose and lets out a frustrated sigh at herself.]
What I'm saying is, back home half my job was trying to help the people that the official channels didn't give a shit about, you know? The people they thought were expendable. So I get where Gaby is coming from. And that's why I want to give her the benefit of the doubt.
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I understand the sentiment.
[He gets why she wants to support Gaby, and wants to believe that she's fighting for the people that aren't being represented by the government, which honestly seems like pretty much everyone. And Lance isn't convinced that that's not the truth; he has no reason to really suspect Gaby personally, and aside from how she'd handled talking to him and the others on his post, she hasn't done anything particularly suspicious.
But there's a disconnect there between Gaby--and other individual Morningstar agents--and the leadership. Especially if that leadership is only one individual with a somewhat sordid history, whose identity is unknown to almost everyone in Morningstar.]
I don't have any problem with Morningstar's stated intention, and I think it's likely that most of the people involved with it--if not all--are doing their best for a good cause. But as far as I understand Gaby's the only one who even knows El is the leader, and that's both a pretty enormous breach of ethics and a worrying sign about what's considered acceptable. I'm just as concerned that Gaby and the other agents might be caught up in something harmful as I am about something like that happening to the Displaced.
[He gets being worried about the people who are considered expendable by those in charge, but there's also a risk of that happening in an organization with a leader that may decide the ends justify the means.]
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Are you afraid that... you know. If you get involved you might get hurt again?
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But he still gives a quiet sigh, nudging her in return to stall a bit as he tries to decide how to answer and, honestly, what the answer actually is.]
Sort of.
[But not quite in such a direct way.]
But I don't think I would have to get involved. Just being here is involved enough, if something were to go wrong.
[And that's also something that's bothering him; everyone here would be affected if it's a worst-case sort of scenario, not just people who got involved with Morningstar.]
I'm less worried about being in danger than I am that we might be used in order to do something none of us want.
[And maybe that's really paranoid, even more so than the fear of being murdered again, but that's what he's most worried about. That maybe it would be the utterly catastrophic scenario of this being a long con in order to pull a coup or something, and that people will die, and the Displaced will have unknowingly helped that happen.]
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What do you mean? Like what?
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[Putting aside if El might even be correct about that being 'better', the fallout would still be enormous, and would they want to have helped something like that along?]
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[Hypothetically, sure.]
But, I don't know. That seems like a jump to me.
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[It's entirely possible that this is completely out there, and his sense of what's likely versus just possible has been skewed by everything that happened in the last few months of being at home and then the last two years spent in Hadriel. But again, it feels like something where he'd rather be wrong than to have not considered it and been right.]
It's just speculation, and not something I would act on other than just being aware of the possibility. I'm worried that people might be so blindly loyal to the cause and the organization that they'll miss warning signs, especially with how vehemently any suspicion is shot down.
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I get it, but why's it your job to make sure people don't fuck up?
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Because I can't just stand back and watch something bad happen to someone, especially if I might've been able to do something to prevent it.
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[It's worded flippantly, but she means it.]
But you're gonna drive yourself nuts policing everyone. No pun intended.
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[He'll take it as the compliment it was meant as, because he hasn't felt like an especially good person lately.]
I know, and I don't want to try to control people, but I just wish they'd at least consider the possibilities. Still, I mean, I know that all I can do it mention it.
[And so that's what he's just trying to do, and explain the issue when asked, and then let people make their own decisions. He'd just love not to be insulted in the process, but he's definitely used to that.]
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[She has suspicions.]
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[It'd be super convenient and all, but he's pretty sure she knows first hand that it's impossible not to worry about people if you're the type to do so.]
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