⚡ hadriel - ic inbox

[evocation]

This is Kyna. You should just text me if you actually want me to answer.

Comments

[evocation]

Yeah, but... I don't know.

[She's not sure how to explain herself, but she thinks maybe he'll get it. Better than Harlan does, at least.]

It seems like everyone else has an easy time talking about shit. I suck at it.

[hardwearing]

Easy? No. I'm just not as afraid to make mistakes anymore.

What makes you think you suck at it, though?

[evocation]

[She scoffs.]

I piss people off all the time. Like, all the time. Or things don't come out right, or... I don't know.

[hardwearing]

I've been there too. York told me once that every time I opened my mouth I made things worse. I always said just the right thing to set people off.

Part of it is being able to read the room, and I've never been good at that. The rest is just thinking before the words come out.

[evocation]

[She makes a face at him.]

I suck at both of those things. I don't know how not to suck at it.

[hardwearing]

I mean, I don't really have any advice besides keep trying. If you want it enough, it'll take.

[evocation]

Yeah, I guess so.

[She looks down again, sighing.]

Try not to get too pissed at me if I fuck something up, okay?

[hardwearing]

What could you fuck up? You've put up with all of my shit so far.

[evocation]

Like what? Ephemera? That's not your fault.

[hardwearing]

I've made other mistakes.

[evocation]

[She raises her eyebrows.]

Like what?

[hardwearing]

I tried to push you away, and I didn't wait for you to handle your friends. I just beat Ephemera anyway.

[evocation]

Oh. That.

[Okay, that's fair.]

Yeah, I guess so. But... I don't know. I knew you were trying to help, even if it was stupid.

[hardwearing]

I made the wrong call. It wasn't the first time, and it probably won't be the last.

[evocation]

Okay, okay, I get it. I guess, um... This is like a pre-apology in case I fuck up.

[hardwearing]

Can we do that? Because I'm pretty sure I'll screw up again, too.

[evocation]

[That gets her to smile a little.]

Sure. I'm surprised I haven't fucked up already.

[hardwearing]

Try not to worry about it too much, or I'll have to start calling you paranoid too.

[ He doesn't know how she could, honestly. ]

[evocation]

Hey, I'm not paranoid.

[She pauses for a second, frowning.]

God. Shit, maybe I am.

[hardwearing]

On the other hand, it doesn't count as paranoia if you're always right.

[ They've reaches his apartment -- Wash opens the door and holds it for her. ]

[evocation]

[She hums in quiet response to that, letting go of his arm to step inside.]

You're not always right.

[Maybe she is, though.]

Hey, um...

[hardwearing]

[ He heads straight for his room to drop the bag, though once he's there the helmet's coming off again. ]

Yeah?

[evocation]

[Okay, she figures this is going to be awkward no matter how she broaches the topic, so she might as well dive right in, right? Of course her hand goes right to her necklace without her even realizing.]

Since we're already, like... Talking about... whatever.

[Sensitive subjects. Off to a great start with that communication.]

I was thinking... I'm always the one to, you know... initiate whenever we sleep together. Or even just when I touch you.

[She probably shouldn't care, right? But it doesn't mean anything that she does. She's touchy feely with everyone. She's just making sure he's okay with it, obviously. That's all.]

[hardwearing]

Oh.

[ His brow furrows a little -- she's right, of course, it's something he's conscious of. And there are a couple reasons. ]

I'm not used to casual contact. Reaching for anyone. As for more than that... [ For one thing he's really bad at reading when she might want to. For another? ] I never know when's right? And don't want it to seem like that's all I want you around for.

[evocation]

[Oh.

Kyna's silent for a moment, the pendant of her necklace click clicking along the chain as it slides back and forth. She wasn't expecting... that. That level of consideration for her feelings. Somehow, Wash manages to surprise her with that over and over again.]

I just... Um. Don't want to make you uncomfortable. And I mean, we're friends, right?

[That's the obvious word. Duh.]