[ Lando plz you're super slobbery. But it's easy to focus on the dog when he says this, so here goes. ]
I guess... I've mentioned the incident she's talking about once before, but only vaguely. When Alpha came with me to try and stop the Meta. The EMP? I knew it'd kill them all and at the time I didn't care. I only saved Epsilon as evidence, leverage.
Tex isn't really a fragment, she's... something else. I didn't actually realize that she or any of them would be conscious in there, not that it matters. She was part of the Meta so she had to go. I do regret killing Alpha with the rest, he was in too much denial to really understand that he'd die and honestly I don't think anybody's ever forgiven me for that. Tex probably won't either.
[ He shrugs a little, knowing he sounds cold. He was. ]
For what it's worth, I don't think she'll actually take it out on me. It'll just be uncomfortable.
I was shut down, and angry, and didn't actually know any of them, so why would it matter? The Meta was too powerful, destroying its AIs was just what was necessary to stop it. Honestly, I doubt anyone could've saved them. The real mistake was getting Church involved, I should have gone into that fight alone. But I didn't care.
[ That finally gets Wash to look at her instead of the dog, at least. He seems to study her for a moment, trying to read how she's taking this. The details of what he was like before Blue Team, just how shitty a person he was. ]
Maybe. But there are other reasons this is going to be awkward. And it's not like we were ever friends in the Project, she's got no reason to bother with me.
[ Wash isn't sure how to explain this, even though Kyna sort of saw it. That's a good starting point, at least? ]
You know how I got sort of lost, after he was implanted? It took awhile to untangle us, but I thought I'd managed it. I know which memories aren't mine, at least, and some feelings are really obvious even though they echo.
This is a little weird. I never loved any version of her, Tex and I weren't even friends. So it's hard to tell if being upset she might hate me is just another echo, or some sort of nostalgia.
No. I've got all of them. I remember... everything. More than Epsilon does, when he tried to destroy himself he was pretty damaged. The person he is now is kind of reconstructed from data and stories more than actual memory. I think a lot of it eventually came back to him? But it's still pieced together.
I don't think there'd be much of a point. Why should I remind him that he's a shadow? He is who he is now, that's enough for everyone else. It probably is for him, too. He doesn't want to be the "real" Church, and we don't want him to be either.
The original Leonard Church was a broken asshole, and Alpha never believed any of it. Let Epsilon just be Epsilon.
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I guess... I've mentioned the incident she's talking about once before, but only vaguely. When Alpha came with me to try and stop the Meta. The EMP? I knew it'd kill them all and at the time I didn't care. I only saved Epsilon as evidence, leverage.
Tex isn't really a fragment, she's... something else. I didn't actually realize that she or any of them would be conscious in there, not that it matters. She was part of the Meta so she had to go. I do regret killing Alpha with the rest, he was in too much denial to really understand that he'd die and honestly I don't think anybody's ever forgiven me for that. Tex probably won't either.
[ He shrugs a little, knowing he sounds cold. He was. ]
For what it's worth, I don't think she'll actually take it out on me. It'll just be uncomfortable.
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Um... Why didn't you care?
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[ How does he even try to explain this? ]
I was shut down, and angry, and didn't actually know any of them, so why would it matter? The Meta was too powerful, destroying its AIs was just what was necessary to stop it. Honestly, I doubt anyone could've saved them. The real mistake was getting Church involved, I should have gone into that fight alone. But I didn't care.
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Yeah, but you're different now. Maybe she'll be able to see that.
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Maybe. But there are other reasons this is going to be awkward. And it's not like we were ever friends in the Project, she's got no reason to bother with me.
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Does that bug you?
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...the fact that it kind of does is confusing. I don't know who exactly it's coming from, me or Church.
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What? What do you mean?
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You know how I got sort of lost, after he was implanted? It took awhile to untangle us, but I thought I'd managed it. I know which memories aren't mine, at least, and some feelings are really obvious even though they echo.
This is a little weird. I never loved any version of her, Tex and I weren't even friends. So it's hard to tell if being upset she might hate me is just another echo, or some sort of nostalgia.
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[She's guessing not.]
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The original Leonard Church was a broken asshole, and Alpha never believed any of it. Let Epsilon just be Epsilon.