⚡ ML INBOX

[evocation]

@kyna.medina | ■ ▲ ◌ ▼

Comments

[evocation]

Yeah. I mean... you know. Up and down.

[There doesn't seem to be any point in lying about it. Even Lance's insistence on keeping a stiff upper lip feels a little ridiculous right now, even if she partially understands his justification.]

You said you wanted to talk, right?

[variate]

I think we should.

[ what are they going to do, avoid it entirely? given the circumstances, he doesn't think that's the best idea. ]

What do you remember?

[evocation]

[She wonders if that's a delicate way of asking if she remembers dying, and she's not entirely sure how to answer delicately.]

All of it. What about you?

[variate]

[ there's a moment as he steps inside, slipping his hands into his pockets that he stops for a moment. ]

What does "all of it" mean?

[ he'll get back to her on her question, but he's there's some context that he needs. ]

[evocation]

I died in the Quarry before the bombs went off. Is that what you mean?

[variate]

[ it comes out so suddenly that it almost seems to surprise him. there's a little hm that comes out of his nose. ]

Yeah, that's what I mean.

[evocation]

[She's finding it easier to talk about as a thing that just happened, most of the time. It's like a defense mechanism against spiraling into remembering it fully.]

Yeah, um... I don't know much about what happened after, just that everything was a mess.

[variate]

[ small steps, right? reconciling this is going to be difficult. and while there's not much that generally fazes Ren where he feels powerless in his own pursuit of action, trying to figure out what another aspect of himself would've done in a different world weighs differently. ]

There were a couple explosives that went off. One in the Volary, and another in the Quarry.

[evocation]

[She nods. She was told a bit about that, but not specific details.]

How much after that do you remember?

[variate]

[ there's a little shake of his head, and he can feel his chest tighten a little. to his credit, his expression doesn't falter. ]

I think I died in the Volary.

[evocation]

[Kyna exhales slowly, reaching out to touch his arm.]

Do you... you know. Remember it?

[variate]

[ when he had seen Lance for the first time after everything had happened, he asked if he remembered it too. if it was something more than just a dream, because reality seemed hard to grasp at the moment.

he needed to center himself. ]

Yeah. I'm not sure if I'm ready to talk about it.

[evocation]

It's okay. We don't have to.

[She gets it. She hasn't really talked about her death in detail, either.]

What did you want to talk about?

[variate]

I didn't have any idea in mind.

[ he'll admit that, he didn't. the whole topic is really touchy, and getting into it is ... messy. especially since they didn't run in the same circle. ]

But I don't think we should keep it to ourselves.

[evocation]

Yeah, I know.

[She's been trying to get better at that lately. The problem is, she doesn't know where to start.]

How much of it do you think... counts?

[variate]

In Zerzura, everything counted. I think everything counts here, too.

[ as much as it feels ... odd to say that, he doesn't want to discount the experiences from another world. ]

Especially if there really are gods.

[evocation]

It makes sense, right? The gods part. I'm just trying to figure out what to do with the rest of it.

[variate]

[ there's a little motion that he makes inside—it might be better to sit as they talk about this. it feels as if the intensity of a situation has washed over him, and now it feels as if he's been wrung out like a rag. ]

It makes sense, but I'm not sure it's a good thing. I've dealt with gods before.

[evocation]

[Kyna links their arms, leads him over to the couch, and doesn't let go even when they sit.]

Yeah. I remember you telling me about that.

[It's gentle encouragement to continue, if he wants to.]

[variate]

[ he doesn't seem to mind, even in a world where the empathy bond is a thing, affection and touch still come easy to him. ]

Do you have gods in your world?

[evocation]

No.

[She says it automatically, then wrinkles her nose.]

Well, I never thought so. I never saw any proof. Lots of spirits or monsters, things like that, but... Who fucking knows anymore. Maybe there are.

[variate]

[ Yaldabaoth's godhood had come from not only his self-entitlement, but also his fixture place in Mementos as the collective of everyone's hearts. ]

What would be proof?

[ because if Yaldabaoth hadn't announced it, he's not sure he would've believed it. ]

[evocation]

[She laughs a little, the sound humorless.]

I have no idea. Being here has kind of turned my whole worldview on its head.

[variate]

The god I met said that he was a god.

[ loudly and with a certain amount of entitlement. ]

He was made from the public's distorted desires when they become strong enough to manifest. This doesn't sound the same.

[evocation]

Yeah. These sound more like... You know. These gods fit the usual stories.