⚡ ML INBOX

[evocation]

@kyna.medina | ■ ▲ ◌ ▼

Comments

[evocation]

You're not going to psychoanalyze me, are you?

[It's a clear attempt at a deflection, and Kyna regrets it as soon as she says it. Lance is actually trying to understand where she's coming from.]

Sorry. It's just... I don't know. I shouldn't care so much.

[lifetothefullest]

[Because it's such an obvious attempt he doesn't answer it, at least not directly, focusing more on her last comment.]

You care for a reason. Figuring out what that reason is will help a lot more than just being frustrated with yourself for your feelings.

[evocation]

[She makes a face at that.]

I know the reason, it's just a fucking stupid one.

[Lance should really be getting paid for this.]

[lifetothefullest]

[He could say that emotions are natural and can't really be 'stupid', but he won't get into that. Instead--]

I'm not going to judge.

[So if she wants to share said stupid reason...]

[evocation]

[She's quiet for a moment, mulling that over.]

We were getting along really well, I guess, and then it was like he just... flipped a switch.

[She has theories for why that switch was flipped, but that gets into weird dream stuff and things that she's not sure she's brave enough to talk about yet. And even if she were, that probably wouldn't be fair to Ian.

A petty part of her says maybe he doesn't deserve fair, but she keeps her mouth shut anyway.]

I thought it was just... you know. This easy thing. And all of a sudden it's not.

[lifetothefullest]

That isn't a stupid reason to be upset.

[That's a very normal, understandable, expected reason to be upset. He chews on his lip a moment, considering the situation and what he knows and how much of a conclusion he wants to jump to.

Eventually he decides another few questions might help first.]

The switch flipping thing, was it when you tried to talk to him, or was he already acting weird? Even if you didn't notice it then, but only looking back?

[evocation]

It was before that. That's why I asked him if anything was wrong in the first place.

[She's realizing this is edging into "solution" territory, and a part of her isn't sure if she's ready for that.]

[lifetothefullest]

Was there anything you know of that happened right around that time? The earthquake maybe?

[He isn't exactly sure on the timing, so he might be wrong there.]

[evocation]

Yeah. The earthquake.

[She sighs, then relents.]

And using the empathy bond during the earthquake.

[Which she thinks is part of it. But the other part—the part that keeps popping up in her head when she's not blaming herself—is that he might be ghosting her because something freaked him out. Got too close for comfort. How many times has she done the same thing to someone else?]

[lifetothefullest]

[Oh, interesting. The earthquake causing a change in behavior wouldn't be surprising, but her comment about the empathy bond is an unexpected but just as reasonable explanation.

His first conclusion is a little different than the one Kyna's thinking of, though.]

Is it possible he felt vulnerable or embarrassed because of the empathy bond, and so he's acting unnecessarily defensive?

[evocation]

Maybe. Yeah, I guess. But we've used it before and he didn't freak. He's been more comfortable with it than I am.

[But during the earthquake he'd been panicking, and she thinks that's part of the difference. He'd been so controlled and then not.]

[lifetothefullest]

[He considers that a few seconds.]

Was it an accident this time, when it had been purposeful before? Or some other change in the situation?

[evocation]

Yeah. Sort of. Plus, we were more... keyed up than usual.

[lifetothefullest]

Understandable.

[The situation kind of warranted some extra emotion. But he feels pretty confident in his conclusion now.]

It sounds like he needs space, after being more emotionally exposed than he might otherwise like to be. Asking him if he's alright would've reinforced to him that you've seen through whatever facade he likes to present, and so he reacted by withdrawing even further.

[Pretty common behavior, so it's not taking a huge leap and he's pretty sure that's what's going on. He feels he should reassure Kyna, though--]

You didn't do anything wrong, and he's probably not actually upset with you, just the situation. Not that it excuses his behavior.

[evocation]

[She sighs, leaning back against the counter.]

That's what I kind of thought, too. [And then, more quietly:] What an idiot.

[lifetothefullest]

[He offers a small shrug, nodding once.]

He is a bit of an idiot, but at least it's just 'emotions are scary' idiocy.

[Which is pretty low on the list, especially since it's so understandable. Or maybe Lance is slightly biased because he's pulled this exact same idiot move before but even more dramatically.

Nah.]

Hopefully he'll realize his mistake after he's given some time and will reach out to you on his own, but it's possible he'll decide that you don't want to talk to him and so will continue to avoid you. In that case, you might have to try to reach out again, if you want to.

[evocation]

[Kyna sighs dramatically. Translation: She doesn't want to, and... It's really not because of Ian. She thinks he's being a dick, sure, but she's done this exact same thing to people. It usually takes her longer to get there, but she's not sure how to confront that about herself yet, as aware of it as she is.

So, she's going to focus on Lance instead.]

Thanks. You know, for listening.

[lifetothefullest]

[He wishes he could just fix the problem for her, but unfortunately life doesn't work that way. So he's just glad that talking seems to have helped a little, and gives a faint smile at her thanks.]

Of course. Any time you want to talk.

[evocation]

[She smiles back at that, letting out a thoughtful little hum.]

I knew you'd be an awesome roommate. And you haven't murdered anyone yet, even.

[lifetothefullest]

[That earns an exhale that's pretty much a laugh.]

Thanks, I think. Not murdering is a really low bar.

[evocation]

But you totally sailed over it. And the whole "listening to your roomie bitch" thing.

[lifetothefullest]

I'm pretty sure that's part of the whole arrangement of being roommates.

[evocation]

Okay.

[She reaches out to give his arm a little poke.]

Your turn. What do you want to bitch about?

[lifetothefullest]

[He isn't expecting the question, although he probably should've been, and so offers lamely--]

I don't really have anything to complain about.

[Which sounds fake even to himself as he says it, oops. But the things he has to bitch about are not things he necessarily wants to get into, and so he's torn between wanting to offer something to make things 'fair' after Kyna confided in him, and not wanting to say anything at all.

And then something super basic and unimportant comes to mind, and he latches onto that.]

Except that it was somehow easier to get coffee in a wasteland run by aliens than it is here.

[evocation]

That's it? Come on. Nothing's annoying you?