[Kyna wrestles with that for a moment. She could take the out. She really wants to take the out, but she doesn't want to lie to him again, and something about his straightforward bluntness always makes it harder to weasel out of these discussions.]
no, i'm i don't know where to start, i guess and i bet you've got enough to worry about, right?
[He might be one of the few people who can get this, actually. How pathetic she feels without her magic, even if she's not ready to say that.]
it fucking sucked and i couldn't do shit during it i was just you know stuck and i thought that maybe this whole thing would be better because i deal with monsters at home all the time, right? but it wasn't
[Her mind scrambles to reassess—all the conversations she'd thought they were on the same page about and hadn't been. Not quite, anyway. He knows this loss even more intimately than she does.]
@nathan.lowell / backdated to, idk, the 4th?
[ That's it, that's the text. ]
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hey
what's up?
[Perfect.]
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[ Would it have been better or worse if he'd just said We need to talk? ]
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i've had worse
how's your arm?
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You got a minute?
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yeah
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From when the slug took over
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i remember all of it
why?
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[ Really clear and detailed responses here, folks. ]
You holding up ok?
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i don't know
[It's not a complete lie, but it is a bit of a dodge. She isn't sure how to tell him that she feels like shit, to be honest.]
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Or you want me to drop it?
[ Hard to read tone through text. But he's not trying to... interrogate her, or anything. Not really why he reached out. ]
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no, i'm
i don't know where to start, i guess
and i bet you've got enough to worry about, right?
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[ He'll be the judge of that, thanks. Truth is, worry's a lot easier to stomach than the alternative. ]
Start from the beginning
Always helps.
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you heard about the sim, right?
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Little bit
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it fucking sucked
and i couldn't do shit during it
i was just
you know
stuck
and i thought that maybe this whole thing would be better
because i deal with monsters at home all the time, right?
but it wasn't
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I know the feeling.
That what you're worried about
Being dead weight?
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i guess so
[It's partially that, and partially the constant loss of control, but she's still trying to work through that.]
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[ Feels a little like that "guess so" should have a "but" or an "and" in here, is all. ]
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i think
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Say it gets easier going without
That you'll adjust.
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has this happened to you before?
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Yeah.
Not this. But close.
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what happened?
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[ Nathan, suddenly and viscerally, fucking hates neural networks and screens. ]
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action.
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