It was definitely fucking awful, but if you don't laugh you cry something about silver linings I don't know, I cope with trauma using humor, accept me.
um fuck I don't know I don't think so Sam kind of asked me the same question, but his take is 'if you weren't fucking the answer is no'. So that seemed pretty definitive.
Alright so For the most part we would just hang out, you know I mean I hit on him all the time back at the start but You know I'd do that to like an 80 year old granny, it doesn't always mean something
But there's like this one stupid thing that makes it feel more complicated than that, but I don't actually know if it's relevant to him or in general or if it's even all that important or if I'm just overthinking everything into the ground
We did that thing that happens all the fucking time apparently, where we shared a dream
We were both young Basically kids, I don't know, early twenties or something and he lost somebody, and he was really fucking devastated and I kind of just kept thinking about my mom and I wanted to fix it for him but I couldn't figure anything out so finally I just kissed him That's basically it
It sounds stupid when I try to explain it
It was just a dream, we never even really talked about it
We've used it a few times. He showed me some of the cool places he's been. We never really shied away from it, like before I actually met you in person when I heroically unplugged the sim you're still welcome I got fucked up by this monster thing, he found me in the bathroom and stitched me up without a second thought about it Just stuff like that off and on without it being a big deal
Depends on what we're talking about but I don't know Happiness, excitement, amusement generally He felt really really like radiantly excited when he showed me his memory of a few temples I guess once we were talking about something that upset him and I wasn't I offered to help in a way he couldn't really take me up on, so he reached out and felt like really reassuring and really genuine, if that makes sense In general just Happy and excited, I guess, especially in Tibet
But it seriously isn't like all the time, it's just mostly in passing
I know, I know, it's a whole lot of nothing, so that's probably the answer
I liked him I didn't plan on taking it any farther than that because I mean, you fucking met me, giving a shit about you was like my peak capacity, I'm not relationship material, I'm a fucking train wreck But I liked him, and if I was capable of anything like that I think I could've seen myself wanting to try it with him
but that's if you like vastly oversimplify everything and ignore all the pitfalls
we dodged talking about that kiss so hard it was practically a diving competition
and he's a lot more guarded than he seems, like he's pleasant and a good bartender and shit but once you get to know him I think he's got a lot of complicated stuff churning under the surface that he's dealing with and as much as I knew basically everything about him in the aerie, there's so much I don't know about his first life Life A or whatever which means I think he keeps shit as close to the chest as I do, so that's something
i suck at all those things too, and you're telling me to date sam so i don't think you get to use that as an excuse but um i do think you need to be careful about the aerie, you know? i don't know a ton about nate, but all of us had really different pasts so mixing that nate with this nate might be messy how much do you actually know about him?
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Exactly
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i didn't want you guys to go through that
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something about silver linings
I don't know, I cope with trauma using humor, accept me.
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btw
since we're talking about this
did you and nate have a thing before the aerie?
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fuck
I don't know
I don't think so
Sam kind of asked me the same question, but his take is 'if you weren't fucking the answer is no'.
So that seemed pretty definitive.
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that's not how that works
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For the most part we would just hang out, you know
I mean I hit on him all the time back at the start but
You know
I'd do that to like an 80 year old granny, it doesn't always mean something
But there's like this one stupid thing that makes it feel more complicated than that, but I don't actually know if it's relevant to him or in general or if it's even all that important or if I'm just overthinking everything into the ground
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what is it?
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We were both young
Basically kids, I don't know, early twenties or something and he lost somebody, and he was really fucking devastated
and I kind of just kept thinking about my mom and I wanted to fix it for him but I couldn't figure anything out so finally I just kissed him
That's basically it
It sounds stupid when I try to explain it
It was just a dream, we never even really talked about it
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i think that was probably after sam
um
look
i'm not gonna pretend i'm an expert or anything
but what you're telling me is pretty vague
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I think I'm just overthinking it, especially in like hindsight now after all that shit happened.
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maybe?
i think you just have to talk to him
do you guys like
use the empathy bond a lot or anything?
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when I heroically unplugged the sim
you're still welcome
I got fucked up by this monster thing, he found me in the bathroom and stitched me up without a second thought about it
Just stuff like that off and on without it being a big deal
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I don't know
Happiness, excitement, amusement generally
He felt really really like radiantly excited when he showed me his memory of a few temples
I guess once we were talking about something that upset him and I wasn't
I offered to help in a way he couldn't really take me up on, so he reached out and felt like
really reassuring and really genuine, if that makes sense
In general just
Happy and excited, I guess, especially in Tibet
But it seriously isn't like all the time, it's just mostly in passing
I know, I know, it's a whole lot of nothing, so that's probably the answer
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whenever i touch you or sam i can feel how much you guys care about me
do you ever get anything like that from him?
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Nothing ever directed at me specifically that I've noticed
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[Well. Unless Nate has like, sociopathic levels of emotional control, that doesn't really bode well.]
well
you're cooler than he is anyway
[She's helping!!!]
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That's all that matters at the end of the day
( and that's
fine
it's fine
it's a solid conclusion, totally sound, makes sense and he's
cool with that
he's good
doesn't bother him )
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stop doing this dodgy "i don't care" thing
come on, it's just me
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I didn't plan on taking it any farther than that because
I mean, you fucking met me, giving a shit about you was like my peak capacity, I'm not relationship material, I'm a fucking train wreck
But I liked him, and if I was capable of anything like that
I think I could've seen myself wanting to try it with him
but that's if you like vastly oversimplify everything and ignore all the pitfalls
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-communicating
-commitment
-being emotionally honest
-intimacy
-being vulnerable
-forming attachments
nate has a lot of shit going on with his brother
we dodged talking about that kiss so hard it was practically a diving competition
and he's a lot more guarded than he seems, like he's pleasant and a good bartender and shit but once you get to know him
I think he's got a lot of complicated stuff churning under the surface that he's dealing with and
as much as I knew basically everything about him in the aerie, there's so much I don't know about his
first
life
Life A or whatever
which means I think he keeps shit as close to the chest as I do, so that's
something
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so i don't think you get to use that as an excuse
but um
i do think you need to be careful about the aerie, you know?
i don't know a ton about nate, but all of us had really different pasts
so mixing that nate with this nate might be
messy
how much do you actually know about him?
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