evocation | ⚡ ML INBOX

Good to know, but also an empty threat.

what? how is that an empty threat?

Because I'm assuming you have enough sense not to try out whatever you've been taught on me, presuming that's what you were implying.

if you keep doing this deflecting thing, i might run out of options

It's not really deflecting when you're aware that's what I'm doing. Now I'm just being actively avoidant.

[Even he's not sure if he's joking at this point.]

okay
why?

[It's a question that he considers deflecting--or avoiding, he supposes, considering what he just said--but at this point it seems kind of like a lost cause.

So instead, finally--]

Because the thought of doing anything besides focusing on helping with all of this is exhausting.

isn't it just going to creep up on you if all you do is focus on helping?

Probably.

lance
come on
i'm not saying you have to like
pour your heart out to me if you're not ready, or if it won't help
but you can at least go a little easy on yourself

I know, and I appreciate that you care.

[And he hesitates, because being honest is difficult, but he eventually adds--]

But I don't exactly have much of an in between when it comes to this sort of thing.

[If he stops, even a little, it's not going to be creeping up on him as much as catching up with him immediately, and he can't deal with that right now.]

oh
okay
you know i'm not going to judge you if you need to just lose it for a while, right?
and you can always lose it on me

Thanks. But I'm going to try to hold off on losing it until we have this whole thing under a bit better control.

i don't want to sound like a total downer
but i have a feeling things are going to be a mess for a long time

Unfortunately, I think that's probably likely.

so just
don't keep putting it off, okay?
and i'm not a hypocrite because i've totally been crying a lot
so there

I won't.

Normal, to be expected considering what happened sort of crying, or is it something you want to talk about?

normal, i think
i cried all over sam
i'm surprised he didn't melt

[Okay, that's partially a joke. Sam has actually been really sweet and supportive. Usually. Minus their recent fight.]

Although I wouldn't have expected saltwater to make him melt, that the emotional part didn't is definitely surprising.

right?
he can be really sweet but
man
i thought i could be closed off

He's like, forty-five or something, right? He's had a lot of time to practice.

Edited (i saw the typo late but couldn't let it stand) 2020-12-30 20:39 (UTC)

i wish he'd practice talking
is this how you feel all the time?

What, hoping people will talk about their issues directly and work them out? No, I never feel that way.

[Yes. Yes, this is how he feels all the time.]

i'll talk to him, i promise
and we can talk whenever you want

Just make sure you give him the chance to back out of it, if he wants to.

I'll keep that in mind.

(no subject)

evocation - 2021-01-01 16:22 (UTC) - Expand