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[evocation]

@kyna.medina | ■ ▲ ◌ ▼

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voice message + text ; @thor.odinson

[ofmyth]

[ thor has no idea what time it is in new amsterdam, so probably this message is being left at two or so in the morning

but it's party time in new tokyo, or at least it sounds it by the loud jpop playing in the background. Thor himself sounds absolutely trashed ]

Lady Kyna, whom I have wronged. I must leave a message of apology for you. I must apologise. I must--

[ a pause to drink ]

I was not myself, but that doesn't absolve me. I was a boor. I was entitled, and thoughtless, and... I acted with the intent to harm you and make you feel unsafe.

[ he pauses again to drink but there's no sound of him drinking. he just lifts his glass and holds it, feeling broken. ]

I acted unworthily of your friendship. I was unworthy of it. I was unworthy of all I have received here. And for it... I admit my fault. If there is aught I can do to make amends, you've only to let me know. But I will understand if there is nothing to be done.

[ he finally drinks, and then hangs up
a few minutes later a text follows ]

and ifff youwish never to heaar frROM me again, simpl y say noth i ng and i will kno w

[evocation]

[She's gotten a couple of apologies so far, but none quite like this. It's sweet, in a way, but it also breaks her heart. Text seems like a... rough way to go, so she picks audio, instead.]

Hey, it's okay. It wasn't your fault. I'm not upset with you.

[ofmyth]

[ not expecting a response, let alone a voice one, thor silent for a while before he responds.

the jpop in the background is quieter. he's outside the bar now ]

You'red gracious, as always.

[evocation]

[Somehow, it doesn't really sound like her assurance helped. Her voice softens unconsciously.]

Are you okay, Thor? Do you want to talk?

[ofmyth]

[ he laughs softly, somehow making it a sad, drunk sound ]

Words will not make right the things I have done.

[evocation]

[She hesitates, not sure what to say about that, and then_]

...Wait, where are you?

[ofmyth]

I have left New Amsterdam.

[ he doesn't want anyone to come after him. ]

[evocation]

You're by yourself?

[ofmyth]

[ with someone else he might have made a joke about the beer keeping him company. but kyna deserves better than that ]

Aye.

[evocation]

Oh, Thor.

[It comes out a little shakier than she wanted it to.]

I can come meet you. We can talk.

[ofmyth]

I will not come to harm here.

[ is there a note of regret in his voice? ]

There is no need for you to come here, Kyna.

[evocation]

I'm not worried about you getting hurt, I'm worried about...

[She trails off, quiet and awkward for a moment.]

You know. Having to deal with all this by yourself.

[ofmyth]

[ thor often feels touched or amazed at how mortals can approach the world so graciously, and he feels it again now.

but he knows he is not worthy of it ]

I have dealt with worse.

[evocation]

[She believes it. He's a god and all.]

That doesn't mean you have to deal with this alone, or that you deserve to.

[ofmyth]

No. I deserve far worse, after the things I did in that other world.

[evocation]

Why? Who says we were even... you know, totally in charge?

[ofmyth]

I have those memories. I lived that life, all of it. I will not so easily excuse myself from the wrong that has been done.

[evocation]

[She's quiet for a moment again, mulling it over. She's still torn over how much of that other life counts, or how much should count. Everyone seems to have a different opinion.]

I'm not upset with you. You're a good person.

[ofmyth]

I have been. One day, I would like to be again.

[ there's a rumble of thunder on thor's end of the line, then the gradual sound of rain ]

I thank you. Not all I've wrong would be as kind as you have been. But it should not surprise me, you've always been so.

[evocation]

I wasn't exactly a great person over there, either. I went along with all that Quarry crap, too.

[ofmyth]

We all went along with the world we thought we belonged to.

[ thor sighs ]

But the person I was... I still have those memories. I know how it feels to be him. Me.

[evocation]

The you in the Aerie would have never apologized, and he wouldn't have felt guilty, right?

[ofmyth]

Thankfully, he was not a god either.

[evocation]

Yeah, but what I mean is... Even if you remember all of it, you're not the same as you were there.

[ofmyth]

Neither am I the same now as I was before.

[ something like anger or frustration creeps into his voice, for the first time cutting through the drunken stupor. ]

And I will not remain who I am now.