It wasn't great. I wanted to help people, but the situation just made it really difficult.
[Of course not!!! Which is definitely not why he adds--]
But when and where talking to someone about traumatic experiences is possible, it's a good idea. Obviously I'm biased, but I wouldn't have become a psychologist if counseling weren't something that actually helps people.
You might, or you might not. It's up to you to decide if you want to give it a try and find out for sure.
[And that all said--]
But if you ever want to talk to someone you know, less formally, you can always talk to me. Just let me know if you want my terrible personal opinions or if you'd prefer I act like I have degrees that mean anything here.
No, it's the truth. The only thing I'm required to say is a long spiel about confidentiality whenever I start counseling someone new. Everything else is whatever I want to say.
It's not that weird; my friends in my world were constantly asking for professional opinions and so I got used to it, even if it was a little awkward sometimes.
But it's definitely easier when it's just informal talking and advice.
[It takes a moment to reply, not because he's unsure about his answer, but he's unsure about exactly how to answer. He could do so very simply, but he's a little concerned she'd think it was a canned response instead of a real one, so he opts to elaborate a little more.]
No. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't occasionally frustrating or exhausting, but I'm not sick of it; I chose this career because it's what I wanted to do.
The simple answer is however feels most natural to you. But that's vague, so when people aren't sure where to start I usually suggest they try to explain whatever it is that's most at the forefront of their thoughts. Since people tend to only seek out therapy when there's something specific bothering them, they usually have at least one topic like that where the conversation can start and then progress from.
If you mean how in terms of emotion, for some people it helps them to keep some mental distance by explaining their problem like they were just giving a summary of something that happened in a book or the news. Again, usually it just progresses from there.
[He thinks, initially, this is an easy question to answer, and then he realizes it isn't; Lance usually uses this particular method for conversations with friends too, but although it works it might not be exactly normal. He had never spoken to anyone about his problems before his parents had put him in therapy, and so he'd learned professional strategies far before casual, interpersonal ones.
But he is absolutely not about to explain any of that, so instead he quickly puts together some semblance of a reasonable answer.]
Sometimes it can just come up naturally in conversation, and instead of deflecting away from a difficult topic you can decide to talk about it.
[A suggestion which feels especially hypocritical at the moment, but whatever. He let Kyna get away with deflecting earlier, so it's only fair, right? Right. It totally works that way.]
Otherwise, you can just ask a friend if you can talk to them about something, like you would about any serious topic. But in that case it's also usually best to make it clear what sort of response you want from them, whether you want advice, sympathy, just someone to listen to you put your feelings into words, or something else.
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that sounds like a fucking nightmare for you
[This is totally not about her! At all!]
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[Of course not!!! Which is definitely not why he adds--]
But when and where talking to someone about traumatic experiences is possible, it's a good idea. Obviously I'm biased, but I wouldn't have become a psychologist if counseling weren't something that actually helps people.
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[He's definitely had both really good and really bad therapy sessions, on both sides of things.]
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uh, no offense
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Kids getting dragged to therapy by their parents usually hate it, at least at first. It's different when it's your own choice.
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i think i'd still hate it
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[And that all said--]
But if you ever want to talk to someone you know, less formally, you can always talk to me. Just let me know if you want my terrible personal opinions or if you'd prefer I act like I have degrees that mean anything here.
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i'm just
you know
not great at talking about shit anyway
[Poor Lance is probably getting deja vu.]
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That's okay. It's difficult for a lot of people, so you're not weird in that or anything.
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is that what you're like
required to say?
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but this isn't you counseling me, right?
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that would probably be weird anyway, right?
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But it's definitely easier when it's just informal talking and advice.
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sick of doing that?
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No. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't occasionally frustrating or exhausting, but I'm not sick of it; I chose this career because it's what I wanted to do.
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can i ask you a weird question?
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[He probably will, but still.]
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i don't know
how do you talk about stuff like that?
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If you mean how in terms of emotion, for some people it helps them to keep some mental distance by explaining their problem like they were just giving a summary of something that happened in a book or the news. Again, usually it just progresses from there.
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just
you know
in general
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But he is absolutely not about to explain any of that, so instead he quickly puts together some semblance of a reasonable answer.]
Sometimes it can just come up naturally in conversation, and instead of deflecting away from a difficult topic you can decide to talk about it.
[A suggestion which feels especially hypocritical at the moment, but whatever. He let Kyna get away with deflecting earlier, so it's only fair, right? Right. It totally works that way.]
Otherwise, you can just ask a friend if you can talk to them about something, like you would about any serious topic. But in that case it's also usually best to make it clear what sort of response you want from them, whether you want advice, sympathy, just someone to listen to you put your feelings into words, or something else.
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that sounds fucking awful
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