⚡ ML INBOX

[evocation]

@kyna.medina | ■ ▲ ◌ ▼

Comments

[evocation]

Right?

[She sounds utterly vindicated, even if there's still a tiny part of her insisting that she screwed something up and it must be her fault. But she's in full rant mode now, so off they go.]

And then one of his friends decided to just totally ignore what I wanted and confront him for me even when I said not to.

[lifetothefullest]

[Lance wrinkles his nose at that next part, because wow, that's a serious jerk move.]

Why? What were they trying to get out of it?

[evocation]

I don't know!

[She puts her still empty and half-forgotten glass down with a heavy thunk.]

But now I probably look like an idiot.

[lifetothefullest]

Why would you look like an idiot? It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong; one person was unnecessarily hostile, and the other was overstepping.

[To put both nicely.]

[evocation]

[She frowns at that, mouth twisting. Her arms cross, the gesture almost defensive.]

I don't know. I don't know how to explain it.

[Because it puts her in a position of vulnerability is what she doesn't know how to explain.]

[lifetothefullest]

[When she crosses her arms he uncrosses his, letting her be the only one so the conversation doesn't feel closed off, especially with that vague answer.

He decides to redirect just slightly to see if he can help guide her to a conclusion.]

Who are you worried about seeing you that way? One of the people you're talking about, or others?

[evocation]

You're not going to psychoanalyze me, are you?

[It's a clear attempt at a deflection, and Kyna regrets it as soon as she says it. Lance is actually trying to understand where she's coming from.]

Sorry. It's just... I don't know. I shouldn't care so much.

[lifetothefullest]

[Because it's such an obvious attempt he doesn't answer it, at least not directly, focusing more on her last comment.]

You care for a reason. Figuring out what that reason is will help a lot more than just being frustrated with yourself for your feelings.

[evocation]

[She makes a face at that.]

I know the reason, it's just a fucking stupid one.

[Lance should really be getting paid for this.]

[lifetothefullest]

[He could say that emotions are natural and can't really be 'stupid', but he won't get into that. Instead--]

I'm not going to judge.

[So if she wants to share said stupid reason...]

[evocation]

[She's quiet for a moment, mulling that over.]

We were getting along really well, I guess, and then it was like he just... flipped a switch.

[She has theories for why that switch was flipped, but that gets into weird dream stuff and things that she's not sure she's brave enough to talk about yet. And even if she were, that probably wouldn't be fair to Ian.

A petty part of her says maybe he doesn't deserve fair, but she keeps her mouth shut anyway.]

I thought it was just... you know. This easy thing. And all of a sudden it's not.

[lifetothefullest]

That isn't a stupid reason to be upset.

[That's a very normal, understandable, expected reason to be upset. He chews on his lip a moment, considering the situation and what he knows and how much of a conclusion he wants to jump to.

Eventually he decides another few questions might help first.]

The switch flipping thing, was it when you tried to talk to him, or was he already acting weird? Even if you didn't notice it then, but only looking back?

[evocation]

It was before that. That's why I asked him if anything was wrong in the first place.

[She's realizing this is edging into "solution" territory, and a part of her isn't sure if she's ready for that.]

[lifetothefullest]

Was there anything you know of that happened right around that time? The earthquake maybe?

[He isn't exactly sure on the timing, so he might be wrong there.]

[evocation]

Yeah. The earthquake.

[She sighs, then relents.]

And using the empathy bond during the earthquake.

[Which she thinks is part of it. But the other part—the part that keeps popping up in her head when she's not blaming herself—is that he might be ghosting her because something freaked him out. Got too close for comfort. How many times has she done the same thing to someone else?]

[lifetothefullest]

[Oh, interesting. The earthquake causing a change in behavior wouldn't be surprising, but her comment about the empathy bond is an unexpected but just as reasonable explanation.

His first conclusion is a little different than the one Kyna's thinking of, though.]

Is it possible he felt vulnerable or embarrassed because of the empathy bond, and so he's acting unnecessarily defensive?

[evocation]

Maybe. Yeah, I guess. But we've used it before and he didn't freak. He's been more comfortable with it than I am.

[But during the earthquake he'd been panicking, and she thinks that's part of the difference. He'd been so controlled and then not.]

[lifetothefullest]

[He considers that a few seconds.]

Was it an accident this time, when it had been purposeful before? Or some other change in the situation?

[evocation]

Yeah. Sort of. Plus, we were more... keyed up than usual.

[lifetothefullest]

Understandable.

[The situation kind of warranted some extra emotion. But he feels pretty confident in his conclusion now.]

It sounds like he needs space, after being more emotionally exposed than he might otherwise like to be. Asking him if he's alright would've reinforced to him that you've seen through whatever facade he likes to present, and so he reacted by withdrawing even further.

[Pretty common behavior, so it's not taking a huge leap and he's pretty sure that's what's going on. He feels he should reassure Kyna, though--]

You didn't do anything wrong, and he's probably not actually upset with you, just the situation. Not that it excuses his behavior.

[evocation]

[She sighs, leaning back against the counter.]

That's what I kind of thought, too. [And then, more quietly:] What an idiot.

[lifetothefullest]

[He offers a small shrug, nodding once.]

He is a bit of an idiot, but at least it's just 'emotions are scary' idiocy.

[Which is pretty low on the list, especially since it's so understandable. Or maybe Lance is slightly biased because he's pulled this exact same idiot move before but even more dramatically.

Nah.]

Hopefully he'll realize his mistake after he's given some time and will reach out to you on his own, but it's possible he'll decide that you don't want to talk to him and so will continue to avoid you. In that case, you might have to try to reach out again, if you want to.

[evocation]

[Kyna sighs dramatically. Translation: She doesn't want to, and... It's really not because of Ian. She thinks he's being a dick, sure, but she's done this exact same thing to people. It usually takes her longer to get there, but she's not sure how to confront that about herself yet, as aware of it as she is.

So, she's going to focus on Lance instead.]

Thanks. You know, for listening.

[lifetothefullest]

[He wishes he could just fix the problem for her, but unfortunately life doesn't work that way. So he's just glad that talking seems to have helped a little, and gives a faint smile at her thanks.]

Of course. Any time you want to talk.

[evocation]

[She smiles back at that, letting out a thoughtful little hum.]

I knew you'd be an awesome roommate. And you haven't murdered anyone yet, even.