evocation | ⚡ hadriel

[He frowns a little, watching her reaction.]

Do you know why?

Some sort of awesome magic, apparently.

[It's clear that Kyna is trying to brush all of this off as something that just makes her angry when in reality it makes her incredibly uncomfortable.]

[Yeah, unfortunately the dismissive act never works all that well, at least not that he's really ever seen.]

What happened?

[She sighs, raking a hand through her hair.]

We could tell something was wrong with him, you know? He kept checking something in his pocket, so Tucker tried to swipe it, and... I don't know. It was some sort of book. Like, linking him to whatever demon he made the deal with. It fucked Tucker up pretty badly. Harlan destroyed it, and then we killed the thing, but...

[There's a lot in those few quick sentences, but right now he focuses on the last part.]

But?

[He asks it quietly, trying to encourage her to continue; it's usually easiest for people to get the whole story out, before getting into the emotional part of it.]

[She takes a deep breath, not quite looking at him.]

But whatever it was, it... I don't know. It was like he was decaying the entire time it had him. And when it was gone, his magic was gone, too. I took him back to my apartment, and I left the room for one fucking second to call my brother, and he...

[This is the part that's hard to get out, the part she hates talking about.]

He slit his own throat right in my fucking kitchen. I couldn't even do anything.

[Again, not the sort of thing he was expecting, and he looks briefly shocked for a moment; that sounds really horrific, and would've been even if it was a stranger, let alone someone she knew, and let alone a family member.]

I'm really sorry.

[That she had to witness it, that she lost her father that way, that the entire situation was what it was.]

You shouldn't have had to experience something like that.

He was an asshole.

[She's getting heated again, partially because it still pisses her off and partially because she doesn't want to consider what else it might make her feel.]

He didn't actually care about me. He didn't even care if I saw it.

Not knowing him, I can't truly argue with that. But I can say that, usually, an action like that would be... It wouldn't be about not caring about you. He was likely just taking the first opportunity he had.

[Not that it really makes it better overall, but the personal element to it--the idea that her father purposefully chose not to consider her feelings--is like an added layer to an already terrible situation. Lance doesn't know, for sure, if it was really the case or not, but it might help Kyna if she knows that perhaps it wasn't.]

Maybe.

[She's not sure how to feel about that. Lance might just be the only person who could convince her of it, though.]

That was the first time I'd even seen him in like... ten years.

[He's not going to push the idea right now; it's better to let her think about it on her own for awhile.]

Did you get to talk to him at all, after you dealt with the demon but before...?

A little, I guess. He was really quiet. He held my hand for a while.

Is it time that you're glad you had with him?

[Because the tone of things, and how it made Kyna feel, says a lot even without many words being exchanged.]

I don't know. Maybe. It's not like it made up for anything.

You're right; it doesn't make up for anything.

[He's definitely not going to argue otherwise; anyone who abandons their kid for ten years is not exactly parent of the year, even without... All the rest.

However--]

But it's still important, and only you can really know what it meant in regards to how he truly felt about you.

[Kyna shrugs, fiddling with her necklace again, not quite looking at him.]

Do you think that's going to help?

[He watches her movements, and his voice is softer when he continues; it's not the professionally gentle tone he uses when dealing with patients, but the one that's more genuinely his. He's talking to her as a friend, not a psychologist.]

It might. Making peace with something like that isn't... It isn't simple, or easy, or quick. But really figuring out what was going on--at least as much as you can, whatever the situation may have been--is the first step in starting to accept it and move on.

You're the expert, right?

[She forces a weak smile, then reaches for his hand impulsively.]

I'm not good at... I don't know. Shit like this.

[He lets her take his hand without protest, giving hers a gentle squeeze of reassurance.]

No one is actually, honestly good at shit like this, expert or not; some people just have more practice than others. You can do it, as long as you're willing to let yourself feel--as hard as it might be--and sort out what it all means, instead of trying to just push past it. And if there's any way I can help, I will.

Thanks.

[Kyna squeezes back, then sighs. She's not sure she's going to be able to deal with it right now, but she appreciates it.]

Anyway, uh... That's why demons freak me out.

That's... Pretty understandable, yeah.

[Definitely a good reason to be freaked out, or even more serious descriptors.]

Are you planning to be involved in the fighting?

Ugh, God, I don't know.

[She scrubs her hand over her face.]

It's not like killing Caedra will do anything. She'll just come back and want to torture me or something.

Yeah, it's... Probably a good idea to avoid that.

[Although Lance immediately feels kind of guilty for saying it, because--]

I mean, I don't exactly encourage the idea of not taking action and just letting people get away with things simply because they're dangerous, but the situation here is kind of complicated.

[And he really doesn't like that, for a few reasons, but it's the reality of this place.]

[It bothers Kyna, too, but this entire thing is making her uncomfortable in a way it shouldn't. She's dealt with demons before, but ever since what happened to her dad, they've freaked her out, and knowing that she can't actually kill Caedra terrifies her, even if she won't admit it.]

What do you think I should do?

[He considers it for a few moments.]

Do you think you'd be able to stop her, if you chose to? Or would it be a big risk, even without the factor of her coming back?

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cw suicide rip

weh :c

rip everyone

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