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I'd say that's more good than bad, honestly.
（ which sounds hypocritical comin' from him, so after a moment his expression twists an' he shakes his head to continue — ）
For me, I've talked to the dead since I was knee high to a grasshopper. It's part of my life, but it meant that death never held no great mystery for me, and no especial fear. But other folks don't have that foreknowledge, and death — it ought to be something you don't get desensitized to. It should hurt every time. It's when you get too used to it you ought to worry.
So don't give yourself a hard time about it, yeah? Everyone is going to need space to grieve and come to terms with everything that happened. Hell, there ain't exactly a precedent in psychology for what we're doing here, literally experiencing death and then walking away from it with near as no repercussions except in the mind. Folks are sometimes tempted to forget it's a critical organ too, with its own species of hurt.
（ which sounds hypocritical comin' from him, so after a moment his expression twists an' he shakes his head to continue — ）
For me, I've talked to the dead since I was knee high to a grasshopper. It's part of my life, but it meant that death never held no great mystery for me, and no especial fear. But other folks don't have that foreknowledge, and death — it ought to be something you don't get desensitized to. It should hurt every time. It's when you get too used to it you ought to worry.
So don't give yourself a hard time about it, yeah? Everyone is going to need space to grieve and come to terms with everything that happened. Hell, there ain't exactly a precedent in psychology for what we're doing here, literally experiencing death and then walking away from it with near as no repercussions except in the mind. Folks are sometimes tempted to forget it's a critical organ too, with its own species of hurt.
[ he knows where she lives. it takes some self-control to stop working and leave Red Wings to Clarke. without something to do, he finds himself a little antsy, but he knows that there are some things that need to be dealt with.
a message sends to her when he arrives. ]
a message sends to her when he arrives. ]
Because I'm assuming you have enough sense not to try out whatever you've been taught on me, presuming that's what you were implying.
i'm trying not to give myself a hard time about it
i just don't know what to do with it
and i had to kill someone too, and
i don't know
i'm worried about everyone coming back but i don't know how to work though this shit myself either
sorry
i'm just totally unloading on you
i guess i'm just sick of getting fucked with, and it's been happening a lot lately
i just don't know what to do with it
and i had to kill someone too, and
i don't know
i'm worried about everyone coming back but i don't know how to work though this shit myself either
sorry
i'm just totally unloading on you
i guess i'm just sick of getting fucked with, and it's been happening a lot lately
It's not really deflecting when you're aware that's what I'm doing. Now I'm just being actively avoidant.
[Even he's not sure if he's joking at this point.]
[Even he's not sure if he's joking at this point.]
[It's a question that he considers deflecting--or avoiding, he supposes, considering what he just said--but at this point it seems kind of like a lost cause.
So instead, finally--]
Because the thought of doing anything besides focusing on helping with all of this is exhausting.
So instead, finally--]
Because the thought of doing anything besides focusing on helping with all of this is exhausting.
I know, and I appreciate that you care.
[And he hesitates, because being honest is difficult, but he eventually adds--]
But I don't exactly have much of an in between when it comes to this sort of thing.
[If he stops, even a little, it's not going to be creeping up on him as much as catching up with him immediately, and he can't deal with that right now.]
[And he hesitates, because being honest is difficult, but he eventually adds--]
But I don't exactly have much of an in between when it comes to this sort of thing.
[If he stops, even a little, it's not going to be creeping up on him as much as catching up with him immediately, and he can't deal with that right now.]
Thanks. But I'm going to try to hold off on losing it until we have this whole thing under a bit better control.
Unfortunately, I think that's probably likely.
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