evocation | ⚡ ML INBOX

[ It's a familiar sensation, having her leaning against him like this, his arm having settled around her shoulders. He's careful not to touch her skin--always difficult with Kyna--but there's a tension in his frame that eases when she's next to him, evident even without having a front-row ticket to his emotions. ]

Yeah. [ All of it? He thinks through it. Yeah, all of it seems about right. It feels distant, somehow, even though it just happened, but there aren't any gaps he can think of. ] Do you?

[It's nice, feeling him relax. She's not sure she did the entire first day she was back. But here comes the awkward part, the part she's going to stumble over.]

Yeah. And... I'm sorry.

[She wrinkles her nose, not sure how to elaborate.]

You know. For freaking out at you.

[ He doesn't play it off as easily as he will later with Ian. (That's over text, a hell of a lot easier to play dumb about, and frankly, everything with Kyna's a little more complicated than it is with anyone else.) Instead, after a few moments of quiet... ]

You don't gotta apologize for that.

Are you just saying that?

[Because that was a pretty long pause.]

Nah.

[ This, too, after a pause--he does Kyna the honor of considering it, at least. ]

It wasn't real. We mighta been stuck there, but you weren't you. I wasn't really me.

[Now it's her turn to be quiet, chewing her lip. A few people have said similar things—that it wasn't real, but Kyna can't get herself to think that way.]

I think it was real.

[Her scars say so, anyway.]

It happened.

[ That part, he can't deny, even if it might be tempting. ]

But it wasn't...y'know, I don't know contract law from my elbow. Pretty sure the last suit I owned, I wore for my first communion. You getting pissed off at me, it isn't real like this is.

[Absently, she reaches up to touch the scar on her throat.]

Maybe, but...

[How does she say this? How does she bring it up?]

You don't think it means anything that we just... went along with that? The Quarry?

I, uh.

[ Jesus, what a question. Sam runs his free hand through his hair--finally the right length again, shaggy but combed back away from his face--to buy himself some time.

Of course it matters. It wasn't real, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. But all it really says to Sam is that he's still the person he's always been: Nathan's his first priority, everything else comes after. None of it changed him. It just says he's been doing things for his brother all along, that he always will.

(Except for that one thing, the Henry Avery business--but that was for Nathan, too. Sam told himself that was for Nathan, too.)

But Kyna, she's asking because she needs comfort. He can feel that much without touching her skin, just in the way she's curled up next to him. So he looks for comforting. ]

S'easy to say we shoulda been tearing the whole thing apart, but we were trying to get by. Best that mighta happened was we ended up on the street--and trust me, sleeping rough ain't as glamorous as it sounds. Worst...worst was a helluva lot worse'n that.

Yeah. I guess so.

[She's never been on the street, so she doesn't feel like she can argue that point, but... Still. It's gotten under her skin.]

How much of it was... You know. True for you? I mean, compared to here.

[ He makes a little noise, thoughtful. ]

Let's see. Still had a brother. Still grew up the same way--mostly. Less prison time, more suits. Not that, uh, far off.

What about you?

No magic. No brother. My dad still left.

[So two major differences. Two that are easy to talk about, anyway. The rest is hard to articulate.]

Back home I didn't... I don't know. I wasn't close to as many people.