Well, Lance is actually listening, so this is less awful than... most of the experiences she's had lately.]
I don't know, he just... flipped it out of nowhere. When I asked if he needed to talk he brushed it off in this shitty way, and I was like, "You never brush me off like this," and he tried to make it into me not being okay. And then he tried to end the conversation every other text. It sucked.
[She sounds utterly vindicated, even if there's still a tiny part of her insisting that she screwed something up and it must be her fault. But she's in full rant mode now, so off they go.]
And then one of his friends decided to just totally ignore what I wanted and confront him for me even when I said not to.
[When she crosses her arms he uncrosses his, letting her be the only one so the conversation doesn't feel closed off, especially with that vague answer.
He decides to redirect just slightly to see if he can help guide her to a conclusion.]
Who are you worried about seeing you that way? One of the people you're talking about, or others?
We were getting along really well, I guess, and then it was like he just... flipped a switch.
[She has theories for why that switch was flipped, but that gets into weird dream stuff and things that she's not sure she's brave enough to talk about yet. And even if she were, that probably wouldn't be fair to Ian.
A petty part of her says maybe he doesn't deserve fair, but she keeps her mouth shut anyway.]
I thought it was just... you know. This easy thing. And all of a sudden it's not.
[That's a very normal, understandable, expected reason to be upset. He chews on his lip a moment, considering the situation and what he knows and how much of a conclusion he wants to jump to.
Eventually he decides another few questions might help first.]
The switch flipping thing, was it when you tried to talk to him, or was he already acting weird? Even if you didn't notice it then, but only looking back?
[Which she thinks is part of it. But the other part—the part that keeps popping up in her head when she's not blaming herself—is that he might be ghosting her because something freaked him out. Got too close for comfort. How many times has she done the same thing to someone else?]
[Oh, interesting. The earthquake causing a change in behavior wouldn't be surprising, but her comment about the empathy bond is an unexpected but just as reasonable explanation.
His first conclusion is a little different than the one Kyna's thinking of, though.]
Is it possible he felt vulnerable or embarrassed because of the empathy bond, and so he's acting unnecessarily defensive?
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Yeah, he's a fucking liar.
[Even though she knew that, it's nice to get confirmation from someone else.]
But he turned it into this whole thing about how I was pissed at him and he couldn't say anything right.
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[Lance has a pretty good idea of what she means, but he's doing his best to get all the information first.]
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[What do you want her to complain about in detail, Lance?]
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[But all of it, really, he'll take elaboration in any area.]
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[That.
Well, Lance is actually listening, so this is less awful than... most of the experiences she's had lately.]
I don't know, he just... flipped it out of nowhere. When I asked if he needed to talk he brushed it off in this shitty way, and I was like, "You never brush me off like this," and he tried to make it into me not being okay. And then he tried to end the conversation every other text. It sucked.
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It sounds like he wasn't ready to talk yet, which is understandable, but that doesn't justify him in acting that way toward you.
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[She sounds utterly vindicated, even if there's still a tiny part of her insisting that she screwed something up and it must be her fault. But she's in full rant mode now, so off they go.]
And then one of his friends decided to just totally ignore what I wanted and confront him for me even when I said not to.
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Why? What were they trying to get out of it?
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[She puts her still empty and half-forgotten glass down with a heavy thunk.]
But now I probably look like an idiot.
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[To put both nicely.]
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I don't know. I don't know how to explain it.
[Because it puts her in a position of vulnerability is what she doesn't know how to explain.]
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He decides to redirect just slightly to see if he can help guide her to a conclusion.]
Who are you worried about seeing you that way? One of the people you're talking about, or others?
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[It's a clear attempt at a deflection, and Kyna regrets it as soon as she says it. Lance is actually trying to understand where she's coming from.]
Sorry. It's just... I don't know. I shouldn't care so much.
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You care for a reason. Figuring out what that reason is will help a lot more than just being frustrated with yourself for your feelings.
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I know the reason, it's just a fucking stupid one.
[Lance should really be getting paid for this.]
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I'm not going to judge.
[So if she wants to share said stupid reason...]
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We were getting along really well, I guess, and then it was like he just... flipped a switch.
[She has theories for why that switch was flipped, but that gets into weird dream stuff and things that she's not sure she's brave enough to talk about yet. And even if she were, that probably wouldn't be fair to Ian.
A petty part of her says maybe he doesn't deserve fair, but she keeps her mouth shut anyway.]
I thought it was just... you know. This easy thing. And all of a sudden it's not.
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[That's a very normal, understandable, expected reason to be upset. He chews on his lip a moment, considering the situation and what he knows and how much of a conclusion he wants to jump to.
Eventually he decides another few questions might help first.]
The switch flipping thing, was it when you tried to talk to him, or was he already acting weird? Even if you didn't notice it then, but only looking back?
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[She's realizing this is edging into "solution" territory, and a part of her isn't sure if she's ready for that.]
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[He isn't exactly sure on the timing, so he might be wrong there.]
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[She sighs, then relents.]
And using the empathy bond during the earthquake.
[Which she thinks is part of it. But the other part—the part that keeps popping up in her head when she's not blaming herself—is that he might be ghosting her because something freaked him out. Got too close for comfort. How many times has she done the same thing to someone else?]
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His first conclusion is a little different than the one Kyna's thinking of, though.]
Is it possible he felt vulnerable or embarrassed because of the empathy bond, and so he's acting unnecessarily defensive?
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[But during the earthquake he'd been panicking, and she thinks that's part of the difference. He'd been so controlled and then not.]
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Was it an accident this time, when it had been purposeful before? Or some other change in the situation?
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