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[evocation]

@kyna.medina | ■ ▲ ◌ ▼

Comments

[wittingly]

I was there with him when you died
He definitely cared, even if you guys weren't as close
We actually kind of got into a fight
Which was mostly my fault, I didn't react very well

[evocation]

oh
he didn't tell me about that
what kind of fight?

[wittingly]

A stupid one where I like lost my shit on him and he served it right back at me
It really wasn't my best moment

[evocation]

i'm sorry
i didn't know

[wittingly]

it's okay
to be honest I'm narcissistic enough that I've always wanted to know how my own funeral would go after I died, you know?
so take it as a compliment if you want

[evocation]

that you guys freaked out, you mean?

[wittingly]

Yep
Exactly

[evocation]

i think that just kind of makes me feel worse
i didn't want you guys to go through that

[wittingly]

It was definitely fucking awful, but if you don't laugh you cry
something about silver linings
I don't know, I cope with trauma using humor, accept me.

[evocation]

no
btw
since we're talking about this
did you and nate have a thing before the aerie?

[wittingly]

um
fuck
I don't know
I don't think so
Sam kind of asked me the same question, but his take is 'if you weren't fucking the answer is no'.
So that seemed pretty definitive.

[evocation]

that's stupid
that's not how that works

[wittingly]

Alright so
For the most part we would just hang out, you know
I mean I hit on him all the time back at the start but
You know
I'd do that to like an 80 year old granny, it doesn't always mean something

But there's like this one stupid thing that makes it feel more complicated than that, but I don't actually know if it's relevant to him or in general or if it's even all that important or if I'm just overthinking everything into the ground

[evocation]

okay
what is it?

[wittingly]

We did that thing that happens all the fucking time apparently, where we shared a dream

We were both young
Basically kids, I don't know, early twenties or something and he lost somebody, and he was really fucking devastated
and I kind of just kept thinking about my mom and I wanted to fix it for him but I couldn't figure anything out so finally I just kissed him
That's basically it

It sounds stupid when I try to explain it

It was just a dream, we never even really talked about it

[evocation]

[Well. Hm. That's a lot less... definitive than she was expecting, actually.]

i think that was probably after sam
um
look
i'm not gonna pretend i'm an expert or anything
but what you're telling me is pretty vague

[wittingly]

It is, it's all pretty innocuous.
I think I'm just overthinking it, especially in like hindsight now after all that shit happened.

[evocation]

i don't know
maybe?
i think you just have to talk to him
do you guys like
use the empathy bond a lot or anything?

[wittingly]

We've used it a few times. He showed me some of the cool places he's been. We never really shied away from it, like before I actually met you in person
when I heroically unplugged the sim
you're still welcome
I got fucked up by this monster thing, he found me in the bathroom and stitched me up without a second thought about it
Just stuff like that off and on without it being a big deal

[evocation]

what do you feel from him when you use it?

[wittingly]

Depends on what we're talking about but
I don't know
Happiness, excitement, amusement generally
He felt really really like radiantly excited when he showed me his memory of a few temples
I guess once we were talking about something that upset him and I wasn't
I offered to help in a way he couldn't really take me up on, so he reached out and felt like
really reassuring and really genuine, if that makes sense
In general just
Happy and excited, I guess, especially in Tibet

But it seriously isn't like all the time, it's just mostly in passing

I know, I know, it's a whole lot of nothing, so that's probably the answer

[evocation]

that's not what i mean
whenever i touch you or sam i can feel how much you guys care about me
do you ever get anything like that from him?

[wittingly]

No, I don't think so
Nothing ever directed at me specifically that I've noticed

[evocation]

oh

[Well. Unless Nate has like, sociopathic levels of emotional control, that doesn't really bode well.]

well
you're cooler than he is anyway

[She's helping!!!]

[wittingly]

Thanks
That's all that matters at the end of the day

( and that's
fine
it's fine
it's a solid conclusion, totally sound, makes sense and he's
cool with that
he's good
doesn't bother him )